People frequently groan or roll their eyes at the concept of a soul mate. Understandably so; it’s unrealistic to believe that there is only one “perfect” match for each of us out there. However, not everyone who believes in soul mates considers them in these terms. A soul mate can be a romantic partner, a friend, a relative, or a teacher with whom you have a deep, powerful, and often instantaneous connection. Throughout your life, you may meet multiple soulmates.
Another common misconception is that soulmate relationships are always smooth sailing, despite the fact that they can be quite choppy at times. Even the difficult times teach you valuable lessons and help you both grow.
My Soul Mate
“Your soul mate is there to be your greatest teacher; the one who challenges you, drives you insane, stirs your deepest passions, and ignites your deepest triggers,” HuffPost matchmaker Kailen Rosenberg explained. “The soul mate is the one who questions the truth of the lessons you must learn about your own worth; what you want and, more importantly, don’t want in life when it comes to love.” So, how does it feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually to connect with a soul mate? We asked those who had encountered one to describe their experience.
1. You experience a profound sense of calm and peace.
“It was an instant sense of rightness for me when I connected with Randy.” It wasn’t a rush of crazy emotions or hormones, but rather an overwhelming sense of calm and peace. Like when you open the front door to your house after a long, arduous journey and step inside and immediately feel at ease. It’s cozy, peaceful, and relaxing, and all you can think about is how grateful you are to be there.
To summarize, the moment we met, it felt like we were at home. That’s why I feel at ease and safe wherever we go as long as we’re together. He’s my refuge.” Ashley Durham’s
2. You suddenly find yourself unable to recall your life prior to the meeting.
“It just felt natural when I connected with my soulmate.” Like the final piece of a puzzle or a house settling into the ground. It was almost as if I couldn’t imagine my life without him by my side.” Alyson G.
3. You seem to have known each other for much longer than you actually have.
“I have anxiety, so making small talk with strangers is difficult for me, but when my soul mate introduced himself on our college campus, I didn’t feel any of my usual nerves.” When he shook my hand, I felt instantly at ease. As he walked alongside me, asking questions, I felt safe. I felt like I could talk to him about anything that came to mind.
Despite the fact that we barely knew each other, I felt more at ease around him than I did around certain friends and family members I’d known my entire life. Our connection was immediate. Totally natural.” Holly Riordan’s
4. You have a strong intuition that this is the right person for you.
“When I met my husband, I finally understood what love songs were all about; I felt a profound love and connection on a completely different level, as if a portion of my heart opened up like never before, even at the age of 35!” We felt compelled to bring another life into the world within two weeks of knowing each other; so by three weeks of knowing each other, we consciously chose to conceive, and by four weeks of dating, I was purposefully pregnant.
Every step of the way felt ‘right’ in the most intuitive and spiritual sense, and we now have an amazing daughter together. However, the compelling connection that drew us together has since evolved into more of a reality than a romance.
I believe that soulmates are the ones who challenge you to grow as you’ve never grown before: sometimes through love, sometimes through challenges. Our relationship has encompassed both, and the greatest soul love we can now give to each other is complete freedom. That, too, feels extremely right.” Judy Tsuei
5. With this person by your side, you feel as if you can take on any challenge.
“No one expects to meet their soul mate in seventh grade, but that is exactly what I did.” At 14, I met a boy who became my best friend and then soul mate. Having such a strong connection with someone so young was exhilarating.
I was hopelessly in love with this incredible boy who grew into the best man I’d ever known. I can survive the worst pain and still find tremendous beauty in the world just by looking into his eyes when he holds my hand. In the dark, he is my flashlight. My warmth in the cold
Even when life is difficult, I can feel the heat of love and desire in my chest. My longing for him never fades; instead, it grows stronger. We’ve been married for 18 years, and we still get to be those two young kids together in some ways. Even at 37, adulting is difficult, but it’s so much more enjoyable when your soul mate is always by your side.” Jenelle M.
6. The emotions are intense and all-encompassing.
“Meeting my soul mate was a revelation.” Before we met, I assumed that all relationships entailed adjusting to fit better together. When I met my soul mate, I realized that what I was calling love was akin to referring to a puddle as the ocean. There are numerous types and degrees of love. The love we have consumes our souls. There is no need for compromise when you have that kind of love. You are naturally the ideal partner for the other.” Jenica Wynne’s
7. The relationship feels undeniably right.
“I used to believe that a soul mate was someone who was ‘destined’ for me based on factors such as an intense emotional connection or sexual chemistry.” I dated someone with such terminology for almost a decade, on and off. We couldn’t build a future together, but we couldn’t stop running into each other. We never stopped loving each other, but we agreed that love was insufficient. Because of our history, I was convinced that love would find a way to bring us together. We never got our resolution because he died two years ago.
However, new insights are emerging as a result of his absence and the grieving process. As I embark on a new relationship, I am redefining the term “soul mate.” I no longer believe in a soul mate who jumps out of my skin or tugs at that part of me that desires what cannot be. My widowed grandmother recently shared her wisdom with me, explaining that her love for her husband was proportional to how right she felt when he was home. “I am certain that love is this sense of rightness.” Sarah Ann LaFleur’s
8. You both feel safe in each other’s presence.
“It was as if an invisible magnetic field was forming between us.” We didn’t fall in love at first sight; we first developed a friendship, but we wanted to spend a lot of time together. Everything flowed so smoothly between us, we got along so well, and I felt very safe and at ease in his company. We were dating within a month, and a week after falling in love, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.” Amanda Oleander
9. Your intense attraction to each other extends far beyond the physical.
“When I first met my soul mate, I wasn’t physically attracted to him. Not that he wasn’t attractive; he just wasn’t my type, but an intuitive knowing urged me to at least investigate the connection. On our first date, I felt as if I’d known him for a lifetime — our energies blended seamlessly as if we’d been lifelong friends. When he walked away, I remember thinking that I wasn’t sure if I’d recognize him when he returned because I couldn’t remember what he looked like — his essence, not his physicality, was what drew me in.
We connected on a spiritual level that transcended the physical body as if our relationship existed in another dimension in addition to this one.” Christy Jacobs
My Soul Mate Quiz
A soul mate is someone we are compatible with or want to end up with one day due to a variety of qualities they possess. Overall, a soul mate is someone you believe has certain characteristics and traits that make them a perfect match for you. Most of the time, people are proven wrong because they do not fully understand the person they like. What about you, though? Do you have a sense of who your soulmate is? Take our quiz to find out.
Questions & Answers
1. Do you believe you are compatible with someone close to you?
C. On occasion
D. The majority of the time
2. Have you been friends with the same best friend for more than ten years?
C. Not at all.
D. You do not have any friends.
3. Have you recently attempted to rekindle feelings with someone from high school?
C. No, because you’ve lost contact with everyone you knew in high school.
D. You wish you had done it
4. Do you find yourself ignoring reality in order to fantasize about the ideal lover?
C. On occasion
D. You do this the majority of the time.
5. Do you have high hopes of one day finding the perfect lover?
C. No, because you’ve given up hope a long time ago.
D. You wish you could, but you simply lack the time and patience to do so.
6. Have you ever been labeled as naive when it comes to dating?
A. You have been all your life.
B. No, not at all.
C. Perhaps because you don’t follow the rules.
D. Yes, in the past, but no longer.
7. Do you believe you have unrealistic expectations when it comes to developing a relationship with someone?
A. It is possible.
B. On occasion
C. You make every effort to be reasonable.
D. No, you are extremely reasonable.
8. Does your boyfriend stare at you incessantly at times?
A. Most of the time, yes.
B. On occasion
C. Particularly in the morning
D. No, not at all.
9. Have you ever considered what it would be like to date your best friend?
C. On occasion
D. Not at all.
10. Do you believe that soulmates are difficult to find?
C. You have these feelings from time to time.
D. It is dependent on your priorities
Who is My Soul Mate
The signs that you’ve met your soul mate are almost limitless and can overlap with the various types of soul mates you meet throughout your life. Dr. Tobin believes that one of the most important truths about relationships is that you must cultivate love and soulmate connections. “Love does not come to us because we believe we deserve it. We must practice being loving in order to receive love in return.” These are a few pointers to help you figure out who your soulmate is.
1. They provide a sense of calm in the midst of a storm.
He also claims that a sense of calm, as well as a storm, is an indicator of light. “Sometimes a soul mate comes to shake us out of our complacency; to challenge us to think and act differently, to grow outside of our comfort zones.” This is never easy or peaceful. Yet there are and will be moments of exquisite connection, serenity, and harmony with that same soul mate.”
2. You are aware of one another’s suffering.
The way you react to their pain is another sign that you’ve met your match. “It’s difficult to imagine soul mates who don’t bleed with each other, who don’t feel each other’s pain; who lack empathy and compassion,” Dr. Tobin says.
“Soulmates may be like two strands of spaghetti entangled in such a way that they don’t know where one begins and the other ends,” Dr. Tobin concludes. At the same time, some soulmate relationships serve their purpose and eventually die. The good news is that we will all have a soulmate connection at some point in our lives.
Is He, My Soul Mate
If you’re wondering, “Is he my soul mate?” you’re probably curious about how to find out. It is not specifically set because soulmates are more of a concept than a rigid set of guidelines. However, certain characteristics have been reported by people who have found their soulmates.
A typical story goes as follows: “When I first met my soul mate, I had the strangest feeling that I already knew him.” Even though we only had a 5-minute conversation, there was an instant connection, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him.” You may feel a sense of familiarity when you meet your soulmate because you’ve known him for years. You might find it very easy to talk to and open up to him.
The chemistry between two soulmates can be so intense that others notice it. When you’re with your soulmate, you may feel as if you’re the only two people in a crowded room. When you first meet them, it’s as if they’re in full color while everything else is in black and white. The intensity can be unexpected, and you can’t get them out of your head.
Because of your soulmate connection, you have an abnormal amount of empathy for one another. When your soul mate is in pain, you are as well; you can feel it in your gut. It’s the best feeling in the world when they’re happy.
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Even if there is some distance between you, there may be times when you feel like you’re reading each other’s minds as you express the same thought. Sending a text message when your soul mate is thinking something similar is an example. Don’t be surprised if you happen to say the same thing at the same time.
Sure, you may have felt all of these things with someone; however, it is now time to determine whether or not that person is your soul mate. If you still feel a deep connection with your partner after the initial chemistry and excitement of a new relationship has worn off, you can be confident that you’re meant to be together.
When Will I Find My Soul Mate
There are numerous theories about soul mates. Some people believe you only have one soul mate, while others believe you can have multiple soul mates (romantic or not), and still others prefer the term “twin flame”—which is similar to but not the same as a soul mate.
Before you hit me with the cliche “when you know, you know,” please understand that it is not possible to plan a specific time and date to meet your match. But, in my opinion, you have two choices: you can sit back, relax, and let fate take care of it, or you can be proactive and manifest that shit yourself.
So, because I, too, am eager to find the LOML, I consulted with some experts, who advised on how to expedite the “finding your soul mate” process. Here’s your step-by-step guide to finding your soul mate:
1. Be true to yourself (but actually).
FYI: The whole point of a soul mate is that they’re someone who is supposed to love you for who you are; how are you supposed to find them if you’re not being yourself? “Be yourself unapologetically,” says relationship expert Jasbina Ahluwalia, founder of Intersections Match by Jasbina. Take pride in who you are. If you’re not proud of any aspect of yourself, empower yourself to change it. Your soul mate will love you if you love yourself.”
2. Don’t strive for perfection.
If you have a preconceived notion of what your soul mate should be like, you will most likely miss out on the person you are meant to be with. “Your soul mate is usually not who you’ve imagined, but an entity of love that co-opts a body; that mirrors all of your imperfections in a way that makes you love yourself more,” sexologist Frenchie Davis, host of Libido Talk, says. “What you consider your flaws will lead you to your soul mate.” It will be the person who admires the aspects of yourself that you are afraid to love.”
3. Go slowly.
“Remember that you can’t rush things when it comes to finding your soul mate,” says dating and relationship expert Laura Bilotta. “It may take some time, but everything will fall into place when the timing is right,” she says.
If you’re the most impatient person ever (hello, it’s me), “Be patient and stay positive.”
Spend some time working on yourself, thinking about what you want and what will make you happy. And if the search for ‘the one’ becomes exhausting, don’t be afraid to take a break until you’re ready to get back into the dating game and fully immerse yourself in it. You must enjoy the ride and have faith that your soul mate will appear when you are ready for them.”
4. Figure out who you are.
I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but finding your soul mate isn’t as simple as Amazon Prime-ing sex toys to your door. Stef Safran, a dating coach, suggests that you “invest in all aspects of your life.” This can take the form of actively engaging in self-care, working out, investing in your personal interests, and so on. This way, you can learn more about yourself and identify the type of person who would be a good match for you.
When you put yourself out there, keep in mind that “it’s okay to have a series of bad dates; no dates; or even taking a dating hiatus,” says Safran. “It’s okay to ask for advice, and it’s also okay not to take all of the advice you get.”
Everyone should understand that failure is a necessary part of success and that there is nothing wrong with being single and looking.” Sure, it’s important to be understanding and accepting of other people’s flaws, but a soul mate is supposed to be your epic love, which means you can’t rush or force this kind of feeling with any random Tinder match.
“I encourage anyone who wants to meet their soul mate to do one simple thing: Stand in the mirror and get to know who you are intimate,” says Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Moe A. Brown. “The exact energy signature you are looking for is who you are in your highest form.”
5. Seek out someone who accepts you exactly as you are.
You can put forth your best effort, but if the other person does not reciprocate, there will be little progress. Anita Chlipala, relationship expert and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple’s Guide to Lasting Love, says, “Find someone who honors and accepts you as you are, strives to understand you, your perspective; feelings, and is willing to work through your differences with respect and compromise.”
“Find someone who is committed to commitment and is willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work.” “A soul mate relationship isn’t something that just happens–something it’s that you work hard to create,” she says.
6. Put in the time and effort.
Finally, after you’ve worked hard to find your soul mate, it’s time to work hard to keep that relationship going. According to Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., “relationships thrive when you invest in understanding one another’s needs while also acknowledging that one person cannot fulfill all of your needs—physically, socially, practically, or sexually.”
“Becoming soul mate necessitates ongoing open communication that is free of judgment.” You don’t have to have everything in common to be soul mates, but if you’re both willing to put in a similar amount of effort (time, communication, broadening of comfort zones) to make it work, you might find that the process of becoming soul mate is facilitated.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Is a soul mate a lover?
Definition. In modern parlance, “soulmate” usually refers to a romantic or platonic partner, with the implication of a lifelong exclusive bond. It is commonly associated with having the strongest bond with another person that one can achieve.
Is it soulmate or soul mate?
Soulmate spelled another way. A soul mate is defined as someone who is completely compatible with another. Soul mates are two people who have similar points of view, dispositions, and approaches to life.