It’s normal to have days when you feel like you can’t do anything right. We looked at how to stop being insecure in this article. But feeling insecure all the time can hurt every part of your life, from your physical health and mental well-being to how well you do at work.
When it comes to romantic relationships, not feeling good enough can be especially dangerous because it makes you more prone to feelings of anxiety and jealousy. And it isn’t just about you. According to research, your self-esteem has an impact on both your and your partner’s relationship satisfaction.
How to Stop Being Insecure
The more we become addicted to social media, and the more life appears to be about expensive handbags, flashy cars, and pretty faces, it becomes increasingly difficult to love ourselves. We become insecure about who we are and what we have to offer, unable to see that we are not unique.
Insecurity, on the other hand, can be exactly what you need to motivate you to become a better person. Grab it and don’t let go – face it, accept it, and you’ll be on your way to self-acceptance and love. Here are some ideas to help you stop feeling insecure.
1. Differentiate between what is real and what is fictitious
At any given time, there are two realities running parallel to each other: the one outside your mind and the one within. Taking a step back is sometimes all it takes to realize that whatever you’re concocting in your head has very little to do with reality. Instead, it’s your fears and anxieties that have taken hold of you. When you’re anxious, ask yourself, “Is this reality, or is this just my made-up reality?”
2. Recognize that your insecurity is not visible
Assume you’re nervously walking into a party where you know virtually no one. You’re feeling extremely insecure, and you’re beginning to wonder why you came at all, and you’re certain that everyone is staring at you and can see how insecure you are. False. They can tell you’re nervous, but that’s all. Nobody can see what’s going on inside your head. Don’t let something completely invisible confine you and prevent you from becoming the person you want to be.
3. Believe that nothing is what it appears to be
Have you heard about the woman who pretended to travel around the world to her closest friends and family? She posted photos on Facebook showing how amazing her vacation was when in reality she was sitting at home faking it all. In other words, people only show you what they want you to see – what lies behind those drawn curtains is far less enviable. Nothing is as it appears, no one is as they appear, and there’s no reason to compare your situation to anyone else’s.
4. Listen to and accept your emotions
One way to stop feeling insecure is to simply not acknowledge it. Aside from the fact that this simply squashes it until you explode, it also sends the message to yourself that your feelings aren’t valid or okay. You can’t accept yourself if you’re not okay with how you feel. And you’ll be insecure if you can’t accept yourself. So go ahead and feel those little feelings. They might go away once you do.
5. If you are going to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to yourself
Again, when you look at other people, you’re looking at their highlight reel, which is how to stop being insecure. As a result, don’t do it. When you realize you’re doing it. Simply put, stop. Remind yourself that you’re watching a highlight reel, and it’s a pretty short one.
6. Make a list of all your positive characteristics
Seriously. Write them down on a piece of paper with a pen (or on your phone). What do you appreciate about yourself? Don’t stop until you’ve collected at least five. Is it a skill? Is it a physical characteristic? or a personality trait?
If you can’t think of any (you’re not alone), ask a few close friends or family members what they consider your best qualities. Furthermore, there is a large body of research indicating that others know us better than we know ourselves.
7. Take care of your body, your surroundings, and your time.
To love ourselves, our minds need to see evidence that we do. You wouldn’t believe someone loved you if they treated you badly, and the same is true for you. In this aspect of how to stop being insecure, keep the following in mind:
- Look after your body. Exercise, eat healthily, get enough sleep, and keep it as close to 100 percent as possible. This is the absolute bare minimum.
8. Define your limits
Hopefully, you treat yourself well and know how to treat others, but what about others? Define your boundaries – in other words, what will and will not be tolerated. What goes against your definition of “okay?” What is the significance of this? Because you have rights and deserve to be treated in the manner that you prefer. To begin, you simply need to know how you want to be treated.
9. If in doubt, make it up
“Fake it ’til you make it” isn’t just a convenient rhyming, trite adage. In fact, science confirms that it works. Even faking confidence makes you appear more confident and competent to others, which can lead to more opportunities and better results. So, if you need a boost of confidence, turn to your acting abilities. Everyone will be no wiser as a result.
How to Stop Being Insecure In Relationships
How to Stop Being Insecure can have an impact on friendships, familial bonds, and romantic relationships. Fortunately, by communicating openly, keeping a feelings journal, and learning each other’s love language, you can overcome these insecurities.
Here are three strategies for overcoming how to stop being insecure in relationships:
1. Be open to communication
A clear line of communication is essential for any relationship to thrive. Talking about your feelings with your partner is a healthy way to build trust. Create a time to share feelings and discuss what is going on inside as it relates to the relationship to strengthen your bond. Of course, there are times when speaking with a therapist, either individually or as a group, can be beneficial.
2. Maintain a Feelings Journal
Keeping a feelings journal, like gratitude journaling, can help you manage relationship insecurities. It assists you in remembering how you felt in any given situation, understanding where certain feelings come from, and understanding what triggers negativity. You can learn a lot about yourself by keeping a journal of your feelings and perceptions.
3. Educate Yourself on Love Languages
Relationship insecurities can arise from a failure to recognize that everyone is unique and experiences love in different ways. We all have experiences that shape who we are, so it’s important to understand how you and your partner differ. Making assumptions can lead to insecurities. It’s critical to have more in-depth discussions about what gives us a sense of safety and security.
How to Stop Being Insecure about your Body
Most of us have felt insecure about our bodies at some point in our lives. We all struggle at some point, whether we’re in our awkward adolescent years, have just had a baby, or are carrying a little more weight than we’d like! A positive body image is crucial to your health and self-esteem. To assist you in breaking free from a negative thought cycle, we’ve devised strategies for how to stop being insecure about your body.
1. Come to a halt and identify negative thoughts
Pause whenever you have a negative thought about your body. What were you doing when the thought occurred to you? How does the thought make you feel? It’s critical to recognize when you’re having negative body image thoughts and what causes them so you can change them in the future.
For example, you could be trying on clothes in a dressing room when you think; “I’m too big to fit into any of these. I shouldn’t be trying on clothes at all.” How do you feel about this? Hurt? Angry? Sad?
You might notice someone jogging and wonder. “I could never be as fit as that person.” This way of thinking can make you feel depressed or irritated.
2. Confront your negative thoughts
After each negative thought, follow it up with something positive. You don’t have to put up with these negative thoughts! Consider whether you’re being fair to yourself or whether those thoughts will help you function. Would you say something like that to a friend?
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3. Make a list of what you like about your body
Change your focus from what you dislike to what you appreciate. Spend some time listing all of the wonderful aspects of your body. You could make a list of physical characteristics or things your body is capable of. When you’re feeling insecure, go through your list to remind yourself how amazing your body is!
For example, you could write that you use your body to swim, hug people you care about or overcome daily challenges.
4. Put on clothes that are comfortable for you
Find a style that makes you feel at ease so that you can feel confident. There’s often a lot of pressure to keep up with the latest trends, even if they don’t suit your body type. You may also believe that in order to look your best, you must wear a smaller size. Throw these myths out the window! Choose clothes that are comfortable, stylish, and well-fitting. You’ll be more attractive as a result.
5. Be gentle with your body
Consume nutritious foods, maintain an active lifestyle, and get plenty of rest. You may be tempted to change your body image if you don’t have a healthy attitude toward it. This can include drastic measures such as crash dieting if you are overweight or a punishing workout routine if you want to gain muscle. Instead, concentrate on taking care of your body. When you’re hungry, eat healthy foods that you enjoy and stay active. Keep your body safe from addictive behaviors such as drinking or using drugs.
Nurturing your body is a way of nurturing your mental health, so take care of yourself.
6. Participate in activities that you enjoy or that help you relax
Work out, meditate, garden, or do something else that makes you happy. Try to do something active that you enjoy doing simply because it makes you feel good. You might jog to feel energized, or you might practice yoga to relax your mind. This way, you’ll appreciate your body for what it’s capable of. Don’t forget to include these activities on your list of body-positive activities!
7. Recognize your inner strength and character
Remind yourself of your wonderful personality on a daily basis. You don’t have to have a “perfect” body to have a lovely personality. Consider one of your character strengths at least once a day—you might be empathetic, determined, or curious. Then tell yourself that these characteristics have nothing to do with your physical appearance.
8. Discuss your physical insecurities with your partner
If physical intimacy makes you uncomfortable, be open about it. Many people are uncomfortable when they have a physical relationship with someone, especially if they will see you naked. Have an open conversation about how you’re feeling to help you feel more secure about your body and more comfortable with your partner. Then, talk about what you’re both comfortable doing.
9. Surround yourself with people who are encouraging
Avoid people who make you feel insecure about your body. Perhaps you have a family member who tells you that you’re too thin or a friend who constantly nags you to lose weight. Avoid spending time with them because it can be difficult to ignore their comments. Instead, surround yourself with friends and family who love you for who you are rather than how you look.
10. Avoid or disregard unrealistic social media representations
Unfollow users who only share idealistic or “perfect” images of their bodies. If you scroll through Instagram or Facebook several times a day and only see airbrushed images of people, you may begin to feel pressure to change your appearance. Avoid the embarrassment and spend your time on other sites. If you’re having trouble limiting your online time, try using an app that tracks how much time you spend on specific websites.
11. Reduce the number of times you check your body
Spend less time in front of the mirror and skip the daily weigh-ins. Obsessing your appearance can make it difficult to develop a positive self-image, especially if you’re concerned about things you can’t change. Stay off the scale, avoid wrapping a measuring tape around your waist, and avoid looking in the mirror to avoid stress. Turn your attention away from your size and shape and toward your health and well-being.
12. Seek the advice of a healthcare professional
If you’re feeling down about how to stop being insecure in your body, seek help. If your negative feelings about your body are making you feel worse and worse, speak with your doctor or a therapist. You’re not by yourself! A negative self-image is quite common, and healthcare professionals can assist you in working through these feelings through cognitive-behavioral training or group therapy.
How to Stop Being Insecure about your looks
While the principle may appear simple, it can be difficult to look at yourself and love yourself to the point where you wouldn’t want to change anything about yourself. It will also be difficult to maintain consistent self-confidence in the face of criticism. However, these issues can be addressed over time, and if you follow these steps, you will be able to understand some basic tips on truly loving yourself.
1. Recognize your uniqueness as the first step
Aspects of yourself that distinguish you should be embraced. If it does not meet society’s beauty standards, then focus on that aspect and love it the most because of its uniqueness.
2. Stop an end to comparing yourself to others
Each of us is unique in terms of appearance, talents, and personalities, so we’re bound to have differences. The sooner we accept them, the easier it will be to love ourselves.
3. Take a social media break
Before you start envying someone, keep in mind that we only post things on social media that we know will be appreciated; it doesn’t mean that people’s lives are actually that perfect. Instead of being obsessed with social media, taking a break from it can boost your self-esteem.
4. Be optimistic and positive in your thinking
Positive self-talk can not only make you happy, but it can also keep you healthy.
5. Discover your own sense of fulfillment
Learn to be content with what you have and who you are. Set goals for taking care of your body and putting yourself first. If you want to work on yourself, do so with a positive mindset rather than being critical of yourself.
Because there are so many different standards of beauty in this world, being insecure about our appearance is extremely common. However, there are some basic ideas and tips that can help you deal with your insecurity in a healthy way.
Why Am I so Insecure in my Relationship?
It’s difficult when you know you don’t feel well but don’t know why. If you’re constantly asking yourself, “Why am I feeling insecure in my relationship?” and getting no answers, it’s time to dig a little deeper. I spoke with an expert to get some ideas for questions you can ask yourself if your relationship isn’t feeling as good as it used to.
1. Is my insecurity directed at my partner or at myself?
According to Dr. Nikki Goldstein, a sexologist and relationship expert, the most important question to ask in a situation where you’re feeling insecure in your relationship is whether it’s truly your partner who is making you feel that way or if it’s an internal issue with yourself.
“When we are feeling low in self-esteem, we can become paranoid that our partner may not want us or maybe looking at other people because we are not good enough,” she says. However, it is not always because we are with someone that we feel bad. Of course, it is sometimes, but more often than not, we are the source of our own misery. “It’s our own doubts that cause us to doubt the relationship because we don’t feel worthy of being in it.”
2. Am I making comparisons between my relationship and other relationships?
According to Dr. Goldstein, pressure and expectation are another major source of insecurity in relationships. If you’re feeling insecure, consider whether it’s because you’re comparing yourself and your partner to others.
“Do you have unrealistic expectations and are insecure about your relationships because they don’t appear to measure up to others? Do you look at social media and wish your relationship looked like the ones you see? Or do you believe that all of your friends are happy in their relationships and wonder why yours isn’t?”
Going down this rabbit hole can wreak havoc on a healthy, happy relationship because no two relationships will ever look the same. And you might be putting even more pressure on your partner to perform when they aren’t the issue — it’s your expectations.
3. Is my partner doing something that I would like them to change?
Perhaps the source of your relationship’s insecurity is your partner. It’s unfortunate, but there are times when we’re with someone who does something that either undermines or actively harms our confidence in the relationship. It’s possible that your partner constantly observes other people while you’re with them, or makes comments about how attractive other people are. Also, it’s possible that they don’t meet your emotional needs very well.
In any case, if you suspect that the source of the problem is them, you should consider whether you want to talk to them about it or end the relationship. Although it is not our partner’s responsibility to keep us safe (that is our responsibility), it is their responsibility not to do things that they know will hurt our feelings on purpose.
4. Is My Uncertainty Based on Intuition?
According to Dr. Golstein, although it can be difficult to tell, sometimes what appears to be insecurity is actually intuition or a gut instinct warning you that there may be a problem with your relationship. “Are you insecure about your relationships because your body and mind are warning you?” she asks. It is not always easy to look at your relationship objectively, but it is sometimes necessary. Perhaps there is something about your partner that you aren’t consciously noticing that your body and mind have already picked up on.
Keep in mind, according to Dr. Goldstein, that you may not find the answers you seek right away: “Time is one of the only things that could provide you with an answer. We all have times when we feel insecure in our relationships, but if it lasts for a long time, you should really consider what kind of relationship you want.”
5. Do I Require More Space And Perspective?
If you’re not sure what’s causing your insecurity or how to fix it, you might need some space from your relationship and a fresh perspective.
We can become so preoccupied with our partner and our love that we lose sight of ourselves—and the things that are important to us. If you’re simply feeling overwhelmed and insecure, taking a step back and taking some quiet time for yourself can be extremely beneficial.
Your space could be getting away for the weekend, seeing your therapist more frequently, or simply seeing your partner less frequently during the week. You might be able to work through your insecurity with them, but you’ll probably need some alone time first.
Everyone experiences insecurity on some level, but if it goes unchecked, it can have a significant impact on your day-to-day life. Building self-esteem isn’t always easy, and it can take time, but the end result is well worth the effort. If you feel like you could use some extra help, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What causes insecurity?
There is no single cause of insecurity; rather, a variety of factors can contribute to the condition. Insecurity can be caused by a traumatic event, a crisis such as a divorce or bankruptcy, or a loss. It can also be caused by one’s surroundings, as unpredictability or upheaval in daily life can cause anxiety and insecurity about ordinary, routine events.
Why do I get insecure so easily?
Most of us are insecure at times, but some of us are insecure all the time. Childhood traumas, recent failure or rejection experiences, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.
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