You can pretty much count on a divorce when married people cheat. After all, if you still wanted to stay married to your partner, why would you cheat?
In reality, though, many men often choose to remain married even after cheating. According to research, infidelity leads to the breakup of only one in five relationships. But the big question we will answer in the course of this article is “Why do cheating husbands stay married?” For starters, one of the major reasons is that they are still in love with their wives.
Let’s go into this in detail…
Why Do Cheating Husbands Stay Married?
These are the most frequent explanations I’ve found for why unfaithful men continue to be with their partners. But the only justification for being in a relationship with someone is love, thus of course none of these reasons are valid.
Let’s jump right in…
#1. He does not want to split the family up.
This is a major reason cheating husbands might continue to be married. If children are already in the picture, he may wish to remain in order to protect their well-being.
This is mostly interpreted to be that he knows how difficult it can be, maybe because his parents divorced when he was young, and he does not want to do the same for his children. Unfortunately, he may be unaware that continuing to be in an unhappy marriage can create a far more toxic environment for them.
He may also be concerned about losing custody or that his children will be angry with him if they discover the truth and doesn’t want to jeopardize his relationship with his children.
#2. He is still in love with his wife.
It’s a common misconception that cheaters are uninterested in their wives. But the truth is, many cheating husbands remain married because they still love their wives. Even if he feels like something is missing in his marriage, the love may still be present.
He may also recognize how wonderful the marriage is overall and not want to let it go. Perhaps he believes they can work out their marital problems and is ready to end his affair with the other woman.
#3. He stands to lose a lot of money if he leaves.
Another common reason cheating husbands stay married is a fear of losing what they have. Cheating husbands risk losing money as well as their social network, in addition to their wives and children when divorce comes into the picture.
He does not want to lose half of his assets as a result of a contentious divorce. Any divorce can be a financial nightmare due to alimony and spousal support. However, if he cheats, he may owe even more because many prenuptial agreements now include an infidelity clause.
In addition to financial loss, cheating husbands may lose the people closest to them. When married couples divorce, their friends are more likely to support the wives than the unfaithful men who have hurt them. The men are now alone.
#4. The affair is strictly physical.
A cheating husband may have no genuine feelings for his affair partner. So, he sees no reason to abandon his wife simply to have some physical pleasure on the side. He might not place as much emphasis on a physical relationship. He might not even think he did anything wrong.
Most men do not even see the harm in the affair if there was no emotional component. In this scenario, a cheating husband may not even feel guilty because he does not believe he has truly hurt his wife.
#5. He is concerned about the divorce stigma.
Cheating men may stay married because they believe it is their only option. Divorce is strongly frowned upon in many cultures. This causes a great deal of shame in society.
Aside from the opinion of society, some cheating husbands stay married because they are afraid of what their friends and family will think of them if they found out. They may disown him or stay away from him. He may also feel like a failure and fear that everyone else feels the same way about him.
#6. He is at ease or attached to the way things are.
Even if a cheating husband feels something is missing in his marriage, he may be afraid to leave his wife because he is accustomed to the way things are. It’s all he knows, and his marriage provides him with a safe haven.
His married life is secure, and he does not want to start over. He doesn’t want to leave his home, his family, and the life he’s come to know.
This is especially prevalent in men who have low self-esteem. They want attention or a boost to their ego, so they have an affair. They later realize how much they rely on their wives.
#7. He intends to change his behavior.
Perhaps he still intends to end the affair. Even if it continues to happen, he may consider it a mistake. Or perhaps he never had an affair. He could have had a one-night stand or two. He promises himself that it will never happen again. As a result, he believes there is no reason for his wife to find out.
Unfortunately, most cheating husbands do not change. He continues to cheat. He may deceive himself, but he still struggles to break the cycle.
#8. He enjoys the thrill of leading a double life.
Why do cheating husbands continue to be married? Because some men cheat more for the thrill of it than for any ill will toward their marriage. The constant fear of being caught cheating may excite them. They may also enjoy having two separate lives. He’s the responsible husband in one, and the wild and crazy husband in the other. It may appear to be the best of both worlds.
In other cases, he may desire a variety of women in his life. Perhaps he never wanted to marry and only did it because it was expected of him by society. A life of monogamy may not be fulfilling to him.
#9. He faces no consequences for his actions.
Perhaps he believes he will never be caught, so he sees no harm in continuing both the affair and his marriage. He wants it all and does not want to be forced to choose between his wife and the other woman.
Even when wives are aware, they often choose to remain married. They don’t want to split the family up or start over. This allows him to continue hurting her because he believes she will always stand by him.
#10. He feels sorry for his wife.
Sometimes the husband cheats but stays married because he understands that it is not his wife’s fault that the relationship has soured. He regrets doing this to her, even if he continues to do so.
#11. He’s biding his time.
In some cases, a man may remain married for the time being even if he intends to divorce because maybe he got caught before and is thinking of an escape plan. He’s trying to pass the time until he can figure out his next move.
He may believe that his marriage is over, which is why he cheated. He still hasn’t decided where he’ll live, how he’ll tell his friends, or what the divorce process will entail. So, for the time being, staying married appears to be the best option.
Can a man cheat and still love his wife?
A cheating partner does not indicate that the love is over or that it was never there. The truth is that it’s possible to love someone while still being unfaithful to them. If there are any indicators, a few reasons above should help you understand why a man can cheat and still love his wife.
How long does a marriage last after infidelity?
In a study that was carried out by the American Psychological Association, it was discovered that divorce rates were 53% higher after five years for married couples who had experienced infidelity but had subsequently participated in couples counseling. In comparison, just 23% of married couples who had never had an affair ended up divorcing after 5 years; this represents a significant disparity between the two groups.
Should You Stay with an Unfaithful Husband?
What steps should you take, therefore, if your unfaithful husband still wants to remain married to you? First, carefully analyze your current position. Do you believe that you will ever be able to forgive him and trust him again? Or has the psychological harm been done to an extreme degree?
Think about what he’s been doing in the time since you found out about the affair. Does it appear like he is being honest and is eager to make changes? Because he has misled you in the past, you should pay less attention to what he says and more attention to what he does. Is he making a concerted effort to rectify the situation?
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