Whether you’re a newlywed couple or have been married for years, every marriage has its ups and downs. Every marriage goes through rough patches and patterns of mundanity, such as periods of poor communication, boredom, and stress. Stay tuned as this article will cover happy marriage and secrets to a happy marriage…
Don’t waste time scratching your head and figuring out how to get through these difficult and stressful times because the tips listed below will help you have a happy marriage in the long run.
What Constitutes a Happy Marriage?
A happy marriage does not always imply that everything in the relationship is rosy, happy, and without conflict. A happy marriage is one in which both partners are dedicated to each other, to become better people themselves, and to assist each other in becoming the best versions of themselves. It also entails mutual respect, open communication, realistic expectations, and candor.
Here are a few indicators that you are in a happy marriage:
- When you don’t compare your marriage to others.
- You are both truthful and honest to each other.
- You recognize that marriage does not imply only happy days.
- Take note of the importance of being there for one another.
- You’re content with your partner.
Some people spend their entire lives fantasizing about their wedding, but it is less common for people to fantasize about their marriage. Marriage isn’t always glamorous, and it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. Whether you’re thinking about getting married or have been married for fifty years, marriage is rarely easy.
We spoke with Dr. Viviana Coles to help you navigate the choppy waters of married life. She shares her advice for a happy marriage below. The following are some suggestions for a Happy Marriage.
1. Communication is essential.
“It’s critical to be an open communicator,” says Dr. Coles. “That’s the only way I’m going to get through this hectic life.” Expect your partner to not be able to read your mind. If someone has a hard time telling you what they’re thinking and has inner conversations that don’t come out, it’s probably because they don’t trust you or themselves to communicate their needs without hurting you.”
2. Disagree but do not argue.
“Disagreements and arguments are not the same things,” explains Dr. Coles. She advises that if you find yourself arguing all the time, it’s time to rethink your situation.
3. Make a plan for the future.
According to Dr. Coles, “if your partner never talks about the future; whether it’s their own or with you,” that’s a red flag.
4. Be truthful. Always.
According to Dr. Coles, many of her clients come in because of infidelity of various kinds; however, this does not always mean the end of a relationship. “People also have a tendency to lie, which creates a sense of distrust that is difficult to overcome,” Dr. Coles explains. “I’ll find couples everywhere.” I have some couples fantasize about [infidelity], and another couple tells me they’ve cheated on each other three times.”
5. Conduct a self-check.
“I think a lot of people believe that as long as their partners are happy in their relationship, they are safe from infidelity and challenges,” Dr. Coles says. “I really want them to check in with themselves.” If you’re deeply unhappy, it can manifest as infidelity or addiction, which will have a negative impact on your relationship.”
Secrets to a Happy Marriage
All that giggling and dancing Weddings are a lot of fun, but getting married isn’t always easy. (Sometimes it’s more like the frosting chunk that got up your nose during the smash—good intentions, but bad results.) There’s a lot of work that goes into living “happily ever after,” so whether you’ve been married for years or are just getting married, we asked the experts what couples can do to have a happy marriage. Follow their advice for a stronger, healthier, and, yes, more blissful relationship.
Related Articles: NOT HAPPY IN MARRIAGE: 19+ Signs & How to Deal Effortlessly
1. First and foremost, even happy couples disagree.
No marriage is ever completely happy. “There are ups and downs in all relationships,” says psychologist Erica MacGregor. But, she says, when you do fight, listen to each other’s point of view, recognize when the argument is going off the rails, and make the necessary repairs. Indeed, family and couples therapist Dr. Juliana Morris says that some of the happiest couples she has worked with “have weathered hard times.” So, if you and your spouse occasionally argue or go through a rough patch, it does not necessarily imply that you are in an unhappy marriage. In fact, it most likely means you’re normal.
2. Pay attention to each other’s strengths.
It’s not always easy to look past minor annoyances, and you may even despise your partner at times. According to Ellen Chute, LMSW, in order to have a happy marriage, you must accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and be able to set realistic expectations. For example, if you’re good with numbers, don’t get upset if they mess up the checkbook. Instead, make it your responsibility to create the budget. Instead, if their strength is cooking, they can manage meal planning. “Using our strengths on a daily basis is associated with greater well-being,” says Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, co-author of Happy Together with her husband James Pawelski, Ph.D. “And when we assist our partner in utilizing their strengths, we experience greater relational satisfaction,” she adds.
3. Don’t expect your partner to make you whole.
Reality check: Jerry Maguire is a fictional character in a film. It was romantic when he said, “You complete me,” but it doesn’t work in real life. According to Pawelski, relying on your spouse to fulfill you can result in an over-dependent relationship in which you do not grow as an individual. Instead, she believes that couples in healthy relationships should “complement,” rather than “complete,” one another. “We must be secure, mature, and whole in ourselves while remaining open to the other.” So, instead of waiting for your spouse to fill the void, nurture your own interests and desires—take a class you’re interested in, and make plans with friends.
4. However, do things together. And have a good time together.
To maintain a happy marriage, it is necessary to share common experiences as well as not completely rely on your partner. “Introducing new activities and interests into your relationship can help to strengthen it,” says Pawelski.
5. Make the decision to be attracted to your spouse.
You get to decide whether or not you think your partner is attractive. Yes, believe it or not. “Attraction to your spouse is a decision you have control over throughout your marriage,” says Sunny McMillan, a certified life coach, radio host, and author of Unhitched. She suggests focusing on “attraction thoughts.” To do so, she suggests focusing on the qualities you’re drawn to, such as your spouse’s great legs or the way they parent your children (it doesn’t have to be physical). The good news is that your spouse does not have to be a cover model for you to be attracted to him or her. “Happy marriages are founded on a sense of connection,” says Chute. “Physical attraction goes much deeper than appearances.”
6. Make each other laugh.
Life is stressful, so it’s helpful to be able to find the light even when you’re in the midst of it. “When a couple has humor, it usually means they have perspective,” says Morris, who advises couples to find laughter in both good and bad times. She claims to have noticed that couples in happy marriages are at ease with each other. Connecting with your spouse through laughter can strengthen your bond, she says, whether it’s through little inside jokes, a silly unexpected text, or even just watching your favorite comedy together.
7. Be considerate of one another.
“It’s critical to be respectful and understanding of your spouse,” MacGregor says. “Being critical and judgmental usually results in defensiveness and resentment.” So, if you want to keep your marriage happy, avoid attacking your partner’s character when you’re upset. Don’t say, for example, “you’re such a slob!” she advises. “You never clean up after yourself.” Try something like, “Because I made dinner, I’d really appreciate it if you could do the dishes tonight.” How much better does that sound?
8. Rejoice in small, positive moments.
“Most of us understand how important it is to be there for our partner during difficult times,” says Pawelski. But, she adds, it’s equally important to recognize the good times. She claims that good things happen more frequently than bad, but that couples frequently miss out on opportunities to connect. So the next time your spouse says something positive, such as a compliment from their boss, remember this. “Stop what you’re doing right now and give me your full attention,” she says. “Ask questions and actively celebrate the good news to help them savor the moment.” You’ll be expressing gratitude for the happy times in your marriage as a result.
9. Be grateful to one another.
It’s easy to take someone for granted when you’re with them all the time, but MacGregor recommends that you express your gratitude verbally every day. Whether you’re praising something thoughtful they’ve done or telling them something you admire about them. “We all need to feel appreciated and reinforced for the things we do well,” MacGregor says. For instance, if your spouse makes you coffee in the morning, tell them it made your day brighter. “If we don’t feel valued, we may grow resentful and estranged.”
10. Accept and anticipate change.
Pawelski believes that in order for a couple to be truly happy in marriage, they must be willing to grow and adapt. “Our needs change all the time, people grow, and relationships evolve,” she says. “As a result, what we need today may not be what we need in a few years.” Morris agrees: “In a balanced dance, it’s critical to bend, flex, and pivot with each other.” Because in a successful marriage, each person supports the other so that they can both grow to be the best people they can be, which means maturing as individuals and as a team. You are together until death do your part.
Happy Marriage Tips
Wouldn’t you like to know the secret sauce to a happy and long-lasting marriage, particularly from happily married couples who have mastered the art of leading a happy relationship? We reveal the secrets of a successful marriage that will assist you in problem-solving marital issues, disarming the conflicting spouse, and creating and maintaining a successful marriage.
Marriage does require work, and as with anything else in life, you must put in the effort to reap the benefits. Marriage, on the other hand, is not like cleaning the toilet and taking out the trash. The type of work that goes into a successful marriage (read: happy, functional, and fulfilling) is the type of work that can be both enjoyable and therapeutic. In a survey, we asked happy couples to reveal the secrets to a happy marriage. Continue reading to learn 15 tips for a successful and happy marriage.
1. Be self-sufficient.
In a marriage, independence was rated as ‘extremely important.’ To be happy in a relationship, we must first be happy. That is, after all, the key to a happy relationship. With this in mind, wives and husbands must continue to take time for themselves; enjoy their personal hobbies, and spend some time apart in general.
Not only does absence make the heart grow fonder, but we also get to reconnect with our spiritual side, re-establish our sense of self, and check in on the progress of our personal preferences, goals, and achievements when we spend time alone. Being dependent, on the other hand, erodes your resolve and ability to progress as a free thinker.
2. Be an attentive listener
We must communicate. Most partners dread this sentence, but did you know that if you want to know how to have a successful relationship, you should create a platform for healthy conversations?
While all women should practice active listening, we emphasize it as an area where men should pay special attention. All too often, men fail to recognize that all their partner requires from them is a listening ear. This is due to their programming and how they are taught to interact with others.
Keep in mind that listening and hearing are not synonymous. Our hearts are involved in listening. Open yours, listen to what she says, look at her while she speaks, and even paraphrase, and reassure. Listening is the true key to a happy marriage, and indeed, to any relationship.
3. Agree to differ
Being in a good relationship does not imply that couples agree on everything. Most of the couples we interviewed had opposing attitudes, opinions, and belief systems, and in some cases held opposing views on major issues.
Every couple should have some point of contention. Successful, loving couples respected one another’s points of view and even had a sense of humor about their disagreements. Remember that one of the most important aspects of a happy marriage is respect.
4. Communicate – understand your partner’s “Love Language”
There are numerous books available on the Languages of Love. This arose from the psychological concept that each individual has his or her own unique way of communicating love. Knowing your partner’s preferences and hobbies allows you to use metaphors in communication that is relevant to something the person understands well.
Observe how your partner expresses love physically, and you’ll understand what makes a happy marriage. This could include washing your car or picking up your children. It could be keeping the toiletries stocked and ironing his shirts from her. It’s words, letters, and affection for others.
What is our advice for a happy marriage? Determine your partner’s love language so you always know how to communicate with him or her. Love languages are frequently discussed, but couples do not pay as much attention to them as they should. Understanding a spouse’s love language is the key to a happy marriage.
Lack of acceptance is a major relationship killer that is more commonly associated with women, who are known for their nagging. Remember that we married our spouse for who he was at the time and who he is now. We can’t change him now, even if we wanted to. Realizing this as soon as possible is the key to a happy marriage. When you urge or persuade him, you are only focusing on his flaws or problems. Change your perspective right away and begin focusing on positive characteristics instead.
6. Accept responsibility
It’s that simple, and it’s one of the secrets to a happy marriage. Take responsibility for your successes and failures when participating in a project. When you and your partner disagree or argue, remember to accept responsibility for your actions, including anything you did or said, especially if it was hurtful, unthinking, or caused adversity.
7. Don’t ever take each other for granted.
Taking each other for granted may be the most dangerous pathogen of all. Once a couple is at ease, it is easy for them to become complacent and expectations to form. This is simply a result of human nature, as we become comfortable with what is familiar, but in marriage, you should never come to the point where you take your partner for granted.
Make a promise to respect your partner indefinitely. Avoid making assumptions, and whenever possible, offer to do nice things for your partner. Most happy marriages have partners who can attest to this.
8. Date night
This is the most ignored and overlooked tip for a happy marriage by couples, especially those who have been married for a while. What a couple does on their date night is irrelevant.
Simply having a night where they spend all of their time with each other strengthens and maintains their bond over time. When you have a date night, turn off your phones and put them away to avoid distractions.
Watch a movie with popcorn at home, or go hiking or rollerblading together. Change it up frequently, and always be helpful and positive to one another. A romantic and thoughtful date night is not only one of the steps to a happy marriage; it is also one of the main ingredients of a happy marriage.
9. Incorporate romance
Do you want to know how to make a marriage work? With your romance, go old school. Romantic gestures can range from giving her a flower to leaving a love note in his briefcase or backpack. Surprise him with his favorite meal, or go together to watch the sunset.
There are numerous marriage tips and ideas available, and you’ll be surprised at how far a little romance can go toward strengthening the relationship.
10. Maintain intimacy
Sex is critical to a happy marriage. Sex should be done on a regular basis, and therapists recommend doing it even when you’re not in the mood! We recommend that you keep it interesting by talking about what you like and introducing any fantasy role-playing; positions, or bedroom props you want to introduce to keep it exciting.
After all, what good is a happy marriage if it doesn’t allow you to get what you want? Life coach Giovanni Maccarrone discusses how making this one conscious decision before getting married can help a marriage succeed.
“A compliment a day keeps the divorce lawyer at bay.” Recognizing and complimenting your partner’s positive qualities on a daily basis will go a long way in your relationship. Maintain a positive attitude and keep track of what your spouse excels at. When things get tough and his less-than-ideal qualities emerge, instead of focusing on the negative, try switching gears and emphasizing the positive.
12. Keep an eye out for the soft emotion.
Psychologists teach that behind every “hard” emotion is a “soft” one. When we are angry, we are usually concealing another emotion, such as sadness, disappointment, or jealousy. We frequently use anger as a mask to hide our vulnerabilities.
Looking for the “soft” or vulnerable emotions beneath someone’s hard display of anger will help you stay connected because you will be better able to empathize with that person’s true emotion. We are frequently looking for marriage tips for a successful relationship but fail to recognize that something as simple as identifying the reality of emotions can keep us on track.
13. Let go of your fantasies
Unfortunately, we are socialized to believe in fairytale endings, and we may carry some distorted views of reality into adulthood. We must acknowledge that, while marriage can be a beautiful thing, it is not easy and will never be perfect. Maintain realistic expectations and avoid falling prey to fairy tales – you may be sorely disappointed. This is not only one of the most important aspects of a happy marriage, but it also has a significant impact on your personal happiness.
14. Do not exert control
Married people frequently lose themselves; they succumb to jealousy or feelings of inadequacy, or they forget that they are separate people from their partners, and they may attempt to control their partners. Most of the time, this is done unintentionally as expectations rise over time. Communication, alone time, and healthy indulgences are what make a marriage successful. If you believe you are being controlled or that you are the controller, get a handle on it or schedule an appointment with a family counselor.
15. Never, ever use the D- word.
Don’t threaten divorce if you don’t intend to get one. Couples who use the D-word or discuss separation during fights do so as a form of control. Couples who use it in a threatening manner are more likely to divorce.
Making threats is not a mature problem-solving strategy, so avoid it. These happy marriage tips are recommended by the majority of happy couples. If you follow these tips on how to have a happy marriage, you will not only be able to save your marriage, but also have a highly successful one.
Is it Possible to Have a Happy Marriage?
The answer is a resounding, unequivocal yes! It is possible to have a happy marriage. Of course, it is possible to have a happy marriage. There is no such thing as a happy marriage; you must create it yourself. However, to expect and desire a happy marriage or relationship all of the time. Marriages are wonderful, and they are happy when they are entered into for the right reasons, at the right time, and with a specific set of goals in mind.
Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses, and it comes with its own set of ups and downs. Marriage and happiness do not always go together. If you want to make the most of your marriage, here are some more tips for a happy marriage that you must follow.
1. Be sure to accept responsibility.
Assume your goal in a relationship is to satisfy your relationship while also ensuring its longevity. In that case, you must ensure that you accept responsibility for your role in the relationship, whether positive or negative. One of the most important secrets to a happy marriage is this.
2. Acquire the ability to agree to disagree.
Two people cannot agree on everything, and that is perfectly fine. However, rather than agreeing with your point of view, it is more important to make peace with each other’s differences. How can I be happy in my marriage? Sometimes it’s okay to disagree.
3. Develop your independence
It’s fine to rely on each other; however, too much reliance can be harmful to a relationship. It is preferable to make the other person aware of your presence rather than making your company feel like a burden.
4. Be an attentive listener
Both spouses must understand that all their partner requires from them is a listening ear. Open your heart to them, listen to what they have to say, and reassure them that you understand. This is the key to having a happy marriage.
5. Interact with others
You must understand your partner’s love language. Because not everyone can express themselves, it’s important to understand how your partner expresses love; perhaps he expresses love when he washes the dishes or cleans your closet. Understanding love’s language can also lead to a happy marriage.
Remember, whether you’re a man or a woman, you married your spouse for who they are, and you can’t change them. So stop attempting and instead concentrate on their positive qualities.
7. You should never take your partner for granted.
Try not to become complacent and form expectations. In marriage, you should never get to the point where you start taking the other person for granted. When possible, avoid making assumptions and do nice things for your partner.
8. Incorporate romance
Try to be romantic as this can rekindle the flame; make a romantic gesture, rekindle chivalry by buying her flowers or opening her car doors. Women, on the other hand, can prepare their husband’s favorite meals in order to win their approval.
9. A date night
Many couples, especially those who have been married for a long time, disregard and disregard this advice. This advice is critical if you want a long and happy marriage because a date night will strengthen your bond and remove all distractions.
10. Maintain intimacy
Sex is an important part of having a happy marriage. Make an effort to keep it exciting. Many couples report that a lack of sexual activity in their marriage was the primary reason for their divorce.
Make a point of paying attention to and complimenting your partner on their positive qualities. Everyone enjoys being appreciated and loved every now and then. This is one of the best pieces of advice for a happy marriage.
12. Greet your partner with affection in the morning.
Instead of having a negative interaction with your spouse in the morning, greet them lovingly. Instead of saying, “You should brush your teeth,” try saying, “I’m so glad to wake up beside you.”
13. Give each other hugs and kisses
Whether you’ve been separated from your partner for a day or an hour, always greet them with a hug or a kiss. This is excellent advice for married couples.
14. Determine how you will compromise as a couple.
When times are tough, both spouses must learn to compromise. If something is important to your husband, do it his way, and he will reciprocate. Always try to find a happy medium.
15. Stay in the present moment
Do you want to have a happy marriage? Bring no old conflicts or things that went wrong in the past, as this will only add to the resentment. Try to co-create a present and live in the moment with each other.
16. Adhere to the 5-to-1 rule.
Try to give five compliments for every criticism of your partner to ensure that you find more positivity than negativity. This is one of the golden rules of a happy marriage.
17. Please do not interrupt.
Try the four-minute rule: let one person speak for four minutes before interrupting to show that you care. When you listen, make sure you listen respectfully. This is the key to a happy marriage.
18. Assist with household chores
Make an effort to assist around the house as much as possible. Even if you don’t know how to do one chore, you can learn how to do it and practice it, or you can assist your partner with other chores that you know how to do better.
19. Be a believer.
It’s as simple as that: if you think positively about your marriage, it will be positive. Avoid negative thoughts and try to be more mindful of your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts are likely to be reflected on your partner as well.
20. Do not jump to conclusions.
If you fight, make an effort to listen to the other person’s point of view rather than launching into blame and criticism. To understand each other, avoid jumping to conclusions and instead concentrate on where your partner is coming from.
21. Immerse yourself in your happy world.
Every couple should have activities that they enjoy only as a couple, such as reading a book together or having a Harry Potter marathon. During these times, try to forget about your problems and enjoy your partner’s company.
22. Do not exert control
Married people may reach a point where they succumb to jealousy and attempt to exert control over their partners. This could be a bad move for your relationship, so seek help from a therapist right away.
23. Avoid using the D-word.
Making threats and bullying your partner to divorce is not a mature problem-solving strategy and should be avoided. Things like this should only be said when they are truly meant.
24. Forget about fantasy.
You must acknowledge that marriage is beautiful, but it is not perfect and will never be, so set realistic expectations. Do you want to know how to make marriages work? Be honest with yourself.
25. Participate in activities together
You can keep the romance and friendship alive by going on a weekly date. You can also work on something together, whether it’s a home repair, a vacation, or putting together a jigsaw puzzle; sharing values and time will strengthen your bonds.
26. Make family time a priority.
When you’re together, make each other the center of your attention and enjoy each other’s company. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by the television, your phone, or even your work. Make it a point to spend quality time with your partner every day.
27. Seek professional assistance if necessary.
Seek marriage counseling if problems persist for more than 30 days so that a professional can assist you in overcoming the obstacles – you don’t have to wait until it’s too late. The earlier you address conflicts, the better your outcomes will be. Marriage advice should be sought from a professional or an expert.
28. Don’t take one another for granted.
How can you improve your marriage? Don’t take each other’s support for granted. Recognize one another, appreciate one another, cherish one another, and be happy in love.
29. Have your own personal space
As important as it is to spend time together as a couple after your marriage, it is equally important to spend time alone doing things you enjoy. Married couples frequently underestimate the value of personal space.
30. Express gratitude
As petty as it may sound, saying thank you can go a long way toward a happy marriage. Your partner should know that you appreciate everything they do for you, no matter how small or large.
To coexist happily in marriage and overcome challenges together, you must work together rather than against each other. There is no such thing as a happy marriage. You and your spouse make your marriage happy by working hard to iron out differences and injecting more smiles, shared joys, and fun.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a happy marriage?
“A happy marriage is being content with what you have rather than expecting your marriage to be a certain way,” one married woman says. “Real happiness comes from being content and grateful for what you have rather than constantly trying to live up to some unrealistic standard set by movies and romance novels.”
What makes a happy marriage?
There are many factors that contribute to a satisfying marriage/relationship such as; Love, Commitment, Trust, Time, Attention, Good Communication including Listening, Partnership, Tolerance, Patience, Openness, Honesty, Respect, Sharing, Consideration, Generosity, Willingness/Ability to Compromise, Constructive.