What are the signs that a casual relationship is getting serious? For starters, to truly understand someone’s feelings for you, you may have to pry the words right out of their mouth. And sometimes it’s as plain as the nose on your face. On the other hand, there are occasions when we fail to recognize the signals that others are trying to send us because we focus on the wrong things. Here, we demand nothing less than great proclamations. All the while we’re searching for cinematic declarations, we’re ignoring the even more powerful subtitles of love’s presence.
When things start to heat up between two people, emotions take on a more tangible form. It’s preferable to do nothing while you wait for the other person to feel safe enough to open up about their feelings and commit to the relationship. Affirmation gained by bullying someone into giving you what you want is never as rewarding or meaningful as the sort you receive when you least expect it.
There could be two distinct sources of interest in your new partner’s emotional state. One of two factors could be at play here: you’re either concerned that they’re developing serious sentiments while you’d prefer to keep things casual, or you want to be sure that their feelings are as strong as yours. Both questions are valid and deserving of replies, and you may have them at your disposal. If you want to know if someone is ready to share their feelings, you should observe their actions rather than pressure them. Here are 10 telltale signs that the casual dater you’ve been seeing is starting to feel more than just a little bit more than casually about you or that your relationship with them is getting serious.
The Top Signs a Casual Relationship is Getting Serious
The following paragraphs cover indicative signs that a casual relationship is getting serious sooner than expected.
#1. They Discuss the Long-Range Future
For someone to include you in future plans indicates that they are starting to take the relationship seriously and can envision a future with you.
This may involve asking you months in advance to be their wedding date. It could also mean organizing a trip for the summer of 2019. The futures of those around you may sometimes include you. People often make light of the fact that you would make a wonderful parent or spouse by, for instance, commenting on how nurturing you seem as a potential parent or spouse.
#2. They Ponder the Future
Even if your spouse hasn’t yet included you in their plans for the future, they may be curious about your hopes and plans for the future. Of course, these discussions can occur early in a relationship if the two people involved don’t want to waste any time. On the other hand, when a serious relationship develops, your partner may begin to inquire about your plans for the future.
Questions such as, “If you had children, what would you name them?” “How would you raise them?” “Where do you hope to spend the rest of your life?” “What kind of house are you hoping to someday own?”
#3. Meeting Their People
This doesn’t necessarily mean things are heating up. If you both have the same set of friends, for instance, you’re bound to spend time with them. In addition, some people use a less formal approach when introducing their significant other to their friends and family.
But if you know that your significant other doesn’t just bring home anyone, and they bring you home, you may be assured that they intend to keep you around. Ask them, “How many people have met your family/friends before?” if you’re not sure if it’s a big deal to meet their loved ones.
#4. They Talk About You with Others
Sure, you haven’t met their relatives or coworkers just yet, but you know they’re talking about you behind your back. Perhaps they’ll let you in on the things they’ve said about you to their pals and kin. Another sign that they’re starting to take you seriously is if they bring up their family and friends. After all, if they anticipate that you will be leaving in a matter of weeks, what’s the point of discussing you now?
#5. You See Each Other on the Weekends
You and your date will likely spend the early stages of your relationship planning outings and dates. For instance, you may get together over the weekend, say Friday or Saturday night, before going your own ways till later in the week.
One of the symptoms that a casual relationship is turning serious is an increase in the amount of time spent together by the two people involved. For instance, if you and your friend both have weekends free, you might start spending them at their apartment. You won’t have to separate visits with time at home; instead, you’ll spend several consecutive days together. Without a pause, you’ve been spending a lot of time with this person, which might be a sign of intimacy and integration into their life.
#6. They’ll Do Not Fun Things with You
As with any new relationship, the first few dates are bound to be filled with exciting activities like going out to eat, seeing a movie, going on a hike, going to a concert, etc.
When the initial excitement of a new relationship wears off, though, you and your partner will settle into more routine activities. You may do things like make dinner together and go out for drinks after work. I dropped by to say hello when they were washing laundry. Alternatively, it may just be doing boring things like watching TV together instead of going on thrilling adventures on every date.
Even if you’ve never gone on a date with your relationship before, this isn’t necessarily a hint that you’re not serious about them. Yet, for many, this is a sign that you’ve graduated from the “new” phase of dating and are ready to settle down with your special someone. So, they aren’t hanging out with you because they’re having a blast every time, but rather because they genuinely enjoy your company and want to spend time with you.
#7. When They Make Romantic Allusions
Saying “I love you” isn’t always easy. When things aren’t particularly challenging, it can still be too soon to act. However, this in no way suggests that the individual lacks strong emotions. It’s not uncommon for people to hint at their feelings for one another or express hope that they’ll soon be romantically involved without really using the phrase “I love you.”
Some people may choose to be more direct and say something like, “I’m falling in love with you.” Even if they don’t feel romantically connected just yet, the tenor of these exchanges suggests things are heating up.
#8. They Have Lots of Conversations with You
Texting can be a hobby for some. A few people really dislike it. For some, nothing beats a good phone conversation. Personally, as a millennial, I ignore the vast majority of phone calls. Consider the preferences of others while deciding if this indicator is relevant to you. It’s also crucial to remember that some people’s occupations do not let them spend all day sitting around and texting.
It’s probably not serious if the person you’re seeing texts you once a day or once every few days, and you know they’re a heavy texter.
On the other hand, if your spouse is taking the time out of their day to communicate with you and is as timely as they can be in responding, they probably care about you. They seem to like your company and are eager to learn more about you, which is a positive sign.
#9. They Leave Stuff at Your House
Surely you’ve witnessed something similar in a film. When a woman moves into a man’s flat, he panics because he interprets it as a sign that she is ready to settle down. Despite the fact that this isn’t always the case (it could be purely for the sake of convenience), it is often a major sign that a casual relationship is becoming more serious. If you’re spending so much time at each other’s houses, it stands to reason that you’d be leaving items there. The more time you spend there, the more serious things must be.
#10. You Have The Conversation
You know, it might be hard to determine if someone is just being kind or if they really care about you. Perhaps we lack the ability to recognize when a platonic friendship is maturing into something more significant. Perhaps we lack faith in ourselves and find it hard to accept the possibility that someone could like us that much; or they are shy and need time to open up, in which case we won’t know for sure.
Sometimes it’s best to just come out and talk about it. The “where is this headed?” topic is one that few people look forward to, yet it usually yields useful information. Ask your potential date straight out if they take the relationship as seriously as you do. Being vulnerable can feel like a huge risk. It’s also difficult to risk hearing something that you most likely won’t like. But in any case, you’ll probably find out what you need to know. The question “Do you see us going somewhere long-term?” can be a good way to start the dialogue. It’s not wise to jump to conclusions about your relationship so early in the courtship. However, if it’s been a while and you’ve made an effort to get to know them, you and they need to know if it’s worth continuing to do so.
Signs a Casual Relationship is Getting Serious FAQs
Can a casual relationship turn serious?
Although it’s not always the case, casual dating can be one of the first steps in developing a romantic connection. In some cases, though, people prefer to keep things on a more casual note because they don’t want to develop any deeper feelings for the other person.
How often should you see someone you're casually dating?
Don’t take it to an extreme and plan to see her every day of the week. In her mind, you’ll come out as excessively needy and possessive, and she’ll run away from you. Aim for seeing her once a week, preferably more often. This will prevent her from feeling trapped and will keep her thinking about you.
How often should you text in a casual relationship?
Casually, twice or thrice a week is ideal. If you limit your message to a handful of times a day, you may give your spouse some space and offer them the opportunity to initiate contact. If you’re thinking about your significant other, or want to make plans to spend time with them, you might send them a text message.