Being single; Not necessarily a crime as most of us see it or an achievement we should ride upon, but a period of our lives to make plans and enjoy singlehood.
But, we often allow pressure from FACEBOOK and TIKTOK get to us as singles. The matching outfits; the shots taken on the beach; the dinner shots taken just at the right moment; all contribute to how we respond to life as singles.
This triggers the need to want to be in a relationship, no matter how bad it gets. We get desperate. But we fail to realize that building a relationship with this attitude as the foundation already spells doom. We first need to embrace singlehood, to enjoy our relationships and marriages to its fullest.
So, take a day out with your Dad, make him feel loved by his little girl; Take your Mom to dinner, let her beauty and radiance shine through; Take that overworked Aunt and her kids for an ice cream in the park, Or better still, call your friends on a day out at the cinema and quit worrying about things you literally have no control over.
However, just in case you were wondering where to start, here are 20 pieces of advice for singles to get you going;
Best Dating Advice for Singles in 2022
Be Ready
One mistake we make as a single is trying to learn on the job. I do not object to the fact that most scenarios need to be practical. I’m not also against learning on the job, but you’ll be better equipped to deal with most situations if you were ready.
I must also mention that there’s no particular template, routine, or process laid down to getting prepared/ready for relationships or marriages. But a universal path to achieving this is learning from the experiences of others.
And since we cannot go meeting them one after the other, books are our only way out.
Don’t Wait
There’s this spiritual side to every individual that yearns for a sign or some sort of supernatural confirmation to help us decide if he/she is the One.
You would agree with me that the absence of this confirmation gives most of us the excuse to walk away. Yea, that’s what it usually is, “an excuse.”
We are either too shy or scared to make the move, so we look for an excuse. Well, it may work for some individuals, but if you need a supernatural confirmation to approach a lady or guy you like, what happens when they do not come subsequently in the course of the relationship or marriage?
So take the risk, if you like him/her. Just ensure your motives are way beyond just money and sex.
Be Different
This is the most overused phrase in the world of relationships and dating, especially on my side of the globe. The quest to be different has transformed tons of individuals into people they were not.
Although being different isn’t a bad thing after all you are a different personality from every other guy or lady on the surface of the earth.
However, the bottom line here is to ensure you do not lose yourself while consciously trying to be different from every other person.
Now I am about to apply another overused phrase here: “Be yourself,” just be open to criticisms and corrections while you’re at it.
Modify your Routine
Being single allows a consistent routine. Wake at 6:00, Gym at 6:30, Work at 7:30, Dinner at 21:00, Sleep at 23:30 even though most of us do not particularly have a routine.
Well, as a single you need one. Among other things, it helps you build self-control and discipline, which are pretty vital attributes as singles.
My point is, as important as building a routine is ensuring it allows for a you-time. But if you have one already, do not upset your routine entirely. Just modify it, allowing yourself to breathe, see, feel, and love.
Be Attentive
I once got robbed because was oblivious of the happenings in my surrounding. I did not notice it was quiet and everyone was in their shops hiding until I got robbed by the people they were hiding from.
Moral lesson; moderate your interaction with gadgets so you can become aware of how the real world works.
Be Positive
Although staying positive does not totally take the pain away, it helps you maintain a peaceful mind -something you really need as a single.
Pessimism isn’t something you would want to deal with as a single or even in a relationship. It messes with your mind. You basically would be worried about almost everything.
From your inability to build a perfect body structure to your scanty beards, to why you’re yet to develop six-packs; pretty much every detail that demands less attention.
Be Authentic
It is pretty basic to understand early enough that you live in the real world. And while it’s okay to have celebrity crushes and sometimes learn from them, you shouldn’t literally become them.
Liking that celebrity with the accent shouldn’t make you change your voice to something that’s not yours. If she loves the romantic type, you can be that; Not totally changing yourself in the process but pleasing her while upgrading yourself at the same time.
In the end, you need to be you even though you should also be flexible to adapt to some changes from time to time. Trust me, its also called growth.
Don’t Fixate on A Type
Having a spec is not so much of a good idea. You might think you love those green sneakers on the internet but you can love the yellow ones you saw in the store more. What you see in movies was just put together to ensure it sells, nothing more.
It’s called the showbiz business. So roughly 80-90 percent of them are not real.
Don’t fixate yourself on a particular type of person, the heart doesn’t know what it wants until it knows what it wants.
Be Ready Always
Whether you’re just going to the pharmacy, store, or market, try to always look good cos you never know who might see you. Well, I do not mean going as far as knotting a tie to get a gallon of water down the road.
Just go for something presentable. It helps you maintain a level of confidence.
Know Your Relationship
A major cause of heartbreaks is usually a result of undefined relationships. Although it’s pretty difficult to find two people who are in sync in all aspects these days, you can totally avoid some unnecessary heartbreaks by trying to find out exactly what you’re getting into.
You may come out as being too forward, but trust me, you’re doing the right thing. You need to ask questions like, “what are your plans?” See if they align with yours; “Are you in this for the fun?” and so on.
But why we do not ask these questions is partly because we ourselves do not know what we want. You do not need to have your whole life totally figured out, just know what you want and be passionate enough to go for it.
Don’t Be Afraid to Fail
Failing at relationships shouldn’t be the end of your dating world. Use the experiences and lessons of those failed times to be a better person, single or not.
Yea that sounds more difficult in reality but we may never meet the One if we remain in our shells just because we are scared. So like I said earlier, be optimistic.
Put the Past in the Past
A huge part of being afraid to fail hangs on our inability to leave the past in the past. We usually carry the pains, trauma, and failures of the past with us for longer than we should. That hurt you felt last year shouldn’t break you.
Moving on is one other way of being ready. Trust me, it wouldn’t be fair on your prospective partner if you still live in the past.
Don’t Compare
It’s okay to have expectations but ensure you do not set the bar too high. Hell, you do not need to set a bar at all. Leave it at the ground level and see how things play out.
Surprises play out better than disappointments.
So moving out, do not compare every individual you meet with your ex or force them to measure up expectations. Give yourself the liberty of getting to know them.
Do not put pressure on yourself
Whatever you do as singles, ensure you avoid mounting pressure on yourself for being single. Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship is lovely but there are also benefits in singlehood. Lots of it if, I might add.
You do not want to get entangled in unhealthy relationships. Those are the worst. So enjoy the ride, make right the right choices for yourself, and feel the warmth of singlehood. Lol, the “warmth of singlehood” might not be a thing but I just made it one.
Give him/her space
At least 90% of individuals around the globe think this should be directed to the ladies.
Well sorry to burst your bubble. The guys also have a share in this; maybe the lion’s share. Most guys, as well as girls, find it difficult to keep their emotions in check and this sends out a wrong signal. It’s the reason you become tools in the hands of some predators out there; ladies and guys alike.
Yea you should allow your emotions flow naturally but ensure you avoid overflows. Like Barney Stinson’s three-day rule on the popular “How I Met Your Mother” TV series, you should wait for three days to call a girl you just met, no matter how excited you get.
While I may not fully agree with this rule, it does justice to the problem with overflow. So just allow your prospects breathe. Do not choke them with calls, visits, or texts just because you cannot keep your emotions in check. Take things slow.
Don’t feel threatened
I can safely say that a good number of guys generally feel threatened when they find out the ladies they like, earn more than them.
Well, news flash, ladies find this repulsive. Feeling threatened has more to do with self-image esteem. It tells a lot about you as the guy. It’s one reason most guys are scared about independent ladies.
So, here’s what happens, they stay of these sets of ladies and go for those that seem to be around their level. But what this does is reduce your options and chances to their barest minimum
Get to Know Her
Relationships are built on friendships. The number only reason why individuals jump into relationships without getting to be friends first is because of an ulterior motive.
So as singles you’d need to watch out for red flags like this. You need to realize that it’s almost impossible to sustain a relationship with someone who isn’t your friend. It gets messy in the end.
Value Time
Building a schedule already sorts this out. But then this is another vital part of being single. Asides from those with the 9-5 jobs who already have their time usage decided for them, singles outrightly devalue time.
Sorting this out early enough in your singlehood helps you cope with basically anything ranging from workloads to relationships and marriages, especially when the kids come along.
Dump the Pride
Tons of people do not see the difference between self-worth and pride. They confuse one for the other. But mostly they just use it as a form of denial to shy away from the truth.
In the real world though, no one wants to be with someone who is proud. However, do not necessarily change because it’s something you need to do in preparation for a relationship, change for you.
Your motive for change is as important as changing itself.
Have a relationship with God
I know you didn’t see this coming considering the perception you already have about being single. I guess this breaks the jinx because in the end, being single should be about building a life without beating yourself up.
A relationship with God that goes beyond Sunday activities helps you build that life.
Conclusion
As singles, we focus a great deal on why we aren’t in relationships that we fail to enjoy the life we have as singles, plan and be the best versions of ourselves.
Advice for Singles FAQs
Are single people happier?
Singles have a distinct edge, according to the study: they are more socially active, which means they are sometimes even happy than their married counterparts. He also discovered that the more social connections people have, the happier they are—this is especially true for unmarried people as opposed to married people.
What to do when you're single and have no friends?
If you don’t want to be social, you could try something like writing, drawing, or knitting. Find an activity that you can undertake with a group if you really want to get out and meet people.
Why is being single better?
You have more time to think when you’re single.
Taking time for oneself should be viewed as a chance to learn more about who you are and what you want.
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