It’s normal for us to feel alone sometimes. Although feeling alone and the often fear of abandonment is normal, it can take a toll on our mental health.
What Does It Mean to Feel Alone
Loneliness or feeling alone is a state where we feel sad and abandoned. It feels like a big void at times. Then there is a constant feeling to fill it up, even if it is only enjoyed in just that moment.
It usually causes mental distress like;
1. Depression
2. Anxiety
Feeling Alone in a Relationship
Singles are not the only ones that suffer from that stabbing feeling of being alone. People tend to feel alone in their relationships when there are some expectations, or a void that needs to be filled, and their partners are probably not doing it for them.
Causes of Feeling Alone in a Relationship
Feeling alone in your relationship happens when under these circumstances. They are;
#1. Loss of Emotional Connection:
There was once a spark but now the relationship is dull. Although, it started off with love and it seemed as though he/she is all you could ever need. However, those butterflies in your stomach have died off. This usually results in feeling alone in your relationship.
#2. Unhealthy Boundaries:
There are different kinds of boundaries people set to protect themselves in relationships. But when those boundaries in your relationship become unhealthy, your partner can detach themselves from you. When the restrictions become excessive then it is unhealthy and selfish.
#3. Excessive Secrecy and Protectiveness:
The fear of vulnerability can be overwhelming. You can’t seem to let down your defensive mechanism around your partner. To you, you are protecting your interest but to your partner, there is constant emotional starvation in the relationship and this can lead to feeling alone in your relationship. Secrecy too, I understand everyone has certain restrictions and reservations. But when it becomes excessive, it’s a problem.
Depression and Feeling Alone
Depression is the state of feeling strong melancholy and despair. Loneliness and depression have certain similarities especially when it comes to their symptoms, like;
#1. Self Doubt:
This is one of the major signs of depression. You don’t trust in yourself. It eventually results in anxiety.
#2. Restlessness:
Your emotions are always out of balance. The constant feeling of anxiety and imbalance causes restlessness and eventually depression
#3. Insomnia:
Insomnia is simply a lack of sleep. You start having a lot of late nights, not necessarily because of work or anything, but you just can’t get your eyes shut.
#4. Loss of Appetite:
A lot of people going through depression lose appetite for food. They tend to feel a lot of melancholy and pain without a specific origin at times so it causes loss of appetite.
#5. Aches and Pains Both Psychological and Physiological:
Heartaches and pains (psychological) cause physiological problems too. Acute depression makes you want to hurt yourself to feel more pain, assuming all the pain has a limit it gets to, that they don’t feel anything anymore.
But their differences are;
- Feeling alone is an emotional state that happens when you feel an emotional void while depression is a mental illness. Unlike loneliness, depression does have a definite turn. That is, someone feeling lonely can recover if he/she gets the attention they need but that is not the case in depression.
- When someone is depressed, the person frays away from social interaction and communication. Even when spending time when friends or family, it feels socially awkward. But for someone feeling alone, he/she wants to mingle if anyone that can elevate their feeling and satisfy their emotional needs.
Feeling Alone in Life
When you start feeling alone and it is not just because you are single or in an emotionally-deprived intimate relationship then it becomes way deeper. But before you fill your void, you need to know its origin first. Some of these are;
1. Mental illness like depression, anxiety, or bipolar
2. Lack of confidence amongst friends and family.
Steps on how to tackle loneliness
Step One: Know the source. This will require some meditation if necessary. There was a time in your life when you felt good. Try to answer the question “what happened?”. Reflect on that and see what pops up in your head. If you already know the source, it makes it easier to tackle it.
Step Two: Do the opposite. Loneliness can proceed out of what you see and hear. Example, you watch way too many romance movies or read novels. You’re psyched about love and all that. It’s a good thing, but if it’s costing your mental health, you might want to switch that up. Watch more action movies, read more thrillers and mystery books.
Step Three: Get busy. Engage yourself with your hobbies, go out with friends or pick up a new hobby. Baking, for instance, will give you an opportunity to utilize time and meet new people in the same frenzy. You could also bake with your friends or your partner. It could serve as bonding time.
Step Four: Focus on yourself. Ask yourself this question. “Was I born to have an education, love someone, pay bills then die?”. There’s more potential to you than that. If you haven’t discovered, focus on yourself, seek to grow that talent of yours, that business. Aim big and you’ll be too occupied to be alone both with work and people you’ll meet on the road of self-discovery.
Step Five: Happiness is the major key. Do what makes you happy. Be more open and connected to the sources of your happiness.
In conclusion, feeling alone is a regular human emotion. Figure out what causes yours and tackle it. Trust me, you’d be good as new.
Feeling Alone FAQs
What causes me to feel alone?
Situational circumstances such as physical isolation, relocation to a new location, and divorce can all contribute to loneliness. Loneliness can be exacerbated by the death of someone significant in one’s life. Internal problems such as low self-esteem can also contribute to loneliness.
What does it mean to feel alone?
Loneliness is defined as the sense of being alone and sad about it. Your loneliness may motivate you to stay at home and listen to dismal music, or it may motivate you to go out and meet new people. You have the option of being alone – and relishing every moment of it.
Is feeling alone a disorder?
Loneliness, especially chronic loneliness, isn’t a mental health disorder in and of itself. Experts are becoming more aware of how loneliness can harm your physical and emotional health.
What does loneliness feel like physically?
Physical symptoms of loneliness include insomnia, interrupted sleep, and other sleep-related disorders. Another indicator is sleeping excessively; when people are sad or lonely, they often turn to sleep as a means to block out their feelings.
