SEX THERAPY EXERCISES for Couples & All You Should Know


Pornographic videos do provide many people with their first impression of what sexual relations are all about. Unfortunately for them, the sex depicted in your average pornographic film is somewhat unrealistic. This article will give you an idea of some sex therapy homework exercises to make your sex life more fulfilling for both of you. And, just like in elementary school, you’ll have to do your homework before playing!

What is the real purpose of homework?

If you ask most students, they will scowl and complain about homework being “busy work.” If you ask a teacher, they will tell you that “homework reinforces the main points of what was covered in class.” If well thought out, it will reinforce what was taught in class and challenge students to extrapolate from any conclusions and predict what may come up next.

If you ask an athlete about homework, you’ll likely get a response like this: “The more you practice, the better you’ll get.” Muscle memory is essential, and repetition will help you develop it. So there are three distinct sources and three different perspectives on the purpose of homework.

Check to see if your sex therapist is legitimate.

Before a sex therapist gives you sex therapy homework, you should research and ensure this person has the proper education and credentials. Don’t assume that they are meaningful or authentic just because they have a bunch of initials after their name on their business card. Carry out your Google research and question everything you come across. When it comes to sex therapists, charlatans abound.

What kind of homework can you expect?

First and foremost, if your sex therapist does not provide you with any sex therapy homework exercises (they may not call it homework per se, but rather “follow up” or “actions to take before the next appointment”), seek out another therapist. Sex therapy, like all therapies, is not a one-time thing. You don’t get answers to all your problems in one appointment and walk out as a new sex superstar. You must follow through on the actions your therapist recommends during your meeting.

Sex Therapy Exercises to do at Home

Communication is one of the most fundamental sex therapy exercises to perform at home. I don’t mean regular conversation when I say communication, but instead, using a set of specific prompts to help you or you and your partner(s) improve your communication. These prompts “could be the same (or similar to) the following:

  • What do I do in bed that you enjoy?
  • When do you feel the least seductive?
  • What do I do in bed to irritate you?
  • When do you feel the most seductive?
  • What is one thing you’d like me to do when we’re making love that we haven’t done yet?”

As you progress through the more fundamental questions listed above, you may begin to follow some more interpersonal prompts, such as:

  • How can we prioritize intimacy?
  • Tell me what you require to feel pleasure in bed.
  • What have I done this week to make you feel loved? What could I have done better in this situation?

These communication exercises can help you work on your relationship by allowing you to talk about important things. Following these exercises, other activities can be performed using communication practices.

Couples Sex Therapy Exercises

You need sex therapy homework exercises if you want to know how to have a better sexual life or how to improve your sexual life. This type of marriage homework should not be considered busy work unless one of the partners is present and is not particularly interested in improving his or her sex life. That participant is squandering everyone’s time. Moving on to what the teacher described as sex therapy homework exercises makes a lot of sense now.

What you will learn in sex therapy is only the beginning, and by participating in “sex exercises,” you will learn not only the fundamentals of what constitutes good sex for each partner but also how to broaden your horizons and try things you may have never considered before.

Good sex does not happen all at once. There’s an adage that says, “Practice makes perfect.” Of course, you don’t want to exhaust yourself with sex therapy homework exercises… But, on the other hand, maybe you won’t be able to stop until you’re exhausted!

The first homework task is

To communicate. Communication is the most challenging barrier between partners. Being open and honest can be extremely difficult for one or both partners, and as homework, the sex therapist will assign specific questions to open up channels of communication. These questions may be the same as (or similar to) the following:

  • What do I do in bed that you enjoy?
  • When do you feel the most seductive?
  • What do I do in bed to irritate you?
  • When do you feel the least desirable?
  • What is one thing you’d like me to do when we’re making love that we haven’t done yet?

Couples Sex Therapy Exercises to do at home

If you’re having trouble with your sex life, seeing a couples therapist or a sexual relationship therapist can be a positive, healthy step that helps you abandon old, ineffective ways of interacting. This is especially important if there are physical barriers to having a good sex life.

For many people, however, all that is required is a little extra effort and a willingness to try new things. The five couples intimacy exercises listed below will teach you how to increase emotional, physical, and mental intimacy in a relationship. Have a good time going through them!

#1. Exercising the Breathing Connection

Because life is so hectic and stressful, intimacy in a relationship often deteriorates. This means you can strengthen your bond by relaxing, calming activities that slow you down. While listening to mindfulness recordings together can be enjoyable, there are more romantic ways to ground and center yourself.

This breathing exercise requires you to sit across from your partner and lean your forehead against theirs.
Close your eyes, and then take slow, deep breaths in and out. Most people notice a difference around the seventh breath, but you should feel free to do as many as you want.

#2. The Soul Gaze

The Soul Gaze exercise, which is as much about emotional intimacy as sexual intimacy, focuses on the power of looking into another person’s eyes. Again, this technique helps you calm your mind and put your attention on your partner. Experts recommend that you do it at least a few times per week. It only takes a few minutes (at most five), but it can significantly impact how you feel about each other.

Simply sit facing your partner and gaze into their eyes to perform the soul gaze exercise. Consider the adage that the eyes are a “window to the soul,” and pay attention to what you’re picking up from your lover.

#3. Tenderness for 15 Minutes

You can’t make a sexual connection happen again in a day, but over time you can build habits that make it easier to connect on all levels. The 15 Minutes of Tenderness exercise aims to help you feel more at ease touching and being touched by your partner. If your sex life isn’t going well, these encounters can become tense and anxiety-inducing.

Sit together and look in the same direction. You have the option of selecting a position. It could be side by side, or you could be standing behind your partner’s chair.
After that, engage in some soft, gentle touching. It’s common to focus on massaging or brushing your partner’s hair or massaging their scalp during this exercise.

#4. Continual Listening

You may not believe that listening has much to do with sexually connecting with your partner. However, not feeling sexually close has a lot to do with feeling underappreciated, and we all feel underappreciated when we don’t feel like someone is listening to us. This exercise, once again, takes less than 15 minutes per person. It can make you feel like you’re part of a team again!

First, set a ten-minute timer. Then, allow your partner to vent to you about anything they want. Listen intently, taking it all in, and don’t interrupt unless there’s energy! Then, after your partner has finished speaking, summarize what you have heard by paraphrasing your partner’s main points.

#5. Sensual Consciousness

When considering how to restore intimacy in a marriage, you may believe it isn’t authentic if it isn’t spontaneous. On the contrary, because you’ve likely grown out of the habit of being sexually connected, your efforts must be conscious at first.
Conscious sensuality is a Tantric practice that can improve physical intimacy dramatically.

What are the benefits of sex therapy homework exercises?

To promote better communication, particularly in the bedroom, and to foster emotional connections, thereby strengthening the relationship. The next session with the sex therapist may include a deeper dive into your interpersonal communication, as well as homework questions such as these:

  • What have I done this week to make you feel loved? What could I have done better in this situation?
  • How can we prioritize intimacy?
  • Please tell me what you require to feel pleasure in bed.

You’ve seen the types of questions used in sex therapy homework exercises provided by sex therapists for a better sexual life. Take some time this weekend or on a date night to discuss a few questions with your partner. Ask your partner what he or she would like for extra credit to round out the evening (or afternoon or morning). You might want to include that spelling will be graded and that no late assignments will be accepted.


As helpful as these sex therapy exercises are, it can also be helpful to talk to a trained counselor about your specific problems.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is sex therapy techniques?

A series of structured touching activities known as sensate focus exercises are at the heart of many sex therapy techniques. These are intended to help couples become more comfortable with physical intimacy and become acquainted with each other’s (and their own) bodies.

What are the 4 principles of modern sex therapy?

The fundamental tenets of the new sex therapy are as follows: 1) a thorough knowledge of physiology, endocrinology, and metabolic function, 2) Only after organic factors have been identified or ruled out should psychotherapy be instituted. 3) Dual-sex therapy teams treating the couple as a unit, 4) a short-term intensive program.

What are sensate exercises?

Sensate-focus therapy is a type of sex therapy that uses touching exercises to help sexual partners get over any negative feelings or worries they may have about sexual intimacy. This type of therapy also improves communication between sexual partners.

Is sex therapy a real thing?

Sex therapy is a type of counseling intended to assist individuals and couples in resolving sexual difficulties such as performance anxiety or relationship issues. It is critical to understand that sex therapy sessions do not include any physical contact or sexual activity between clients and therapists.

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