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Home THERAPY

HOW TO TALK TO A THERAPIST: What to Keep in Mind Before Talking to a Therapist

how to talk to a therapist

Image Source: PsychologyToday

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You have finally decided to see a therapist to help treat a mental illness or cope with difficult life challenges. Once you make the decision to go, you schedule an appointment and prepare for your first session. Initially, you may feel enthusiastic about starting the process. However, when you get into the office, your mind draws a blank. Despite your excitement and your understanding of how much it can help, at the moment, it becomes hard for you to open up at all. Even though you may be able to tell yourself logically that this is a safe space, it’s easy for that little part of your brain to say, ‘Be careful!” Don’t say that! That’s when missed opportunities can occur. If this sounds like you, then you need to learn how to talk to a therapist. Luckily for you, that is what this piece came with.

Who is a Therapist?

A therapist is someone you don’t lie to, especially when it involves your mental health. I know that was not the answer you were expecting, but yeah, that’s it. When you omit certain facts or distort the truth, a therapist may believe that an issue is more or less important than it actually is, which can impact the kind of support you receive. The more they know, the better they can understand you and help you reach your goals.

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Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all approach, which means that I want to know even the things you don’t think are important so that I can best help you, Being honest in therapy can strengthen the therapeutic alliance and allow for a tailor-made treatment plan. It can also lay the groundwork for opening up about other painful or hard truths in the future. Even if it doesn’t exactly get easier, at least the process will become more familiar. The idea of someone asking you a bunch of personal questions brings up mixed feelings, you’re not alone. Everyone has a chapter of their story they might prefer not to speak out loud.

What to Do Before Talking to a Therapist

Being vulnerable in therapy can be hard. But there are some actionable steps you can take if you’re feeling a little tongue-tied in front of your therapist:

#1. Practice what you’re going to say beforehand.

Get the tough stuff out as soon as possible. Plan out what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it before you attend your sessions. You may have learned to stay silent as a coping mechanism or to keep yourself safe, but you don’t have to do this with your therapist.

For instance, you might practice introducing yourself and stating the reason you came. “Hi, I’m John. I came in because I have been having trouble fitting in at school.” Therapy is a safe place in which you are able to speak about how you feel in an open and supportive environment. Over time, you’ll likely find that opening up will become easier.

#2. Think of the therapist as your confidante. 

And, remember that he or she is bound by law to protect your confidentiality. Know that you can tell your therapist anything and you won’t receive judgment or criticism. However, keep in mind that your therapist is bound by law to intervene if you express an intent to harm yourself or another person. Keep in mind that this is in your best interest.

Also, know that your therapist won’t leave you unexpectedly. The therapist-patient relationship is special, and it can be comforting and beneficial too.

#3. Find the right therapist.

Look for a therapist who treats people who have problems similar to yours. Experienced therapists have handled the problems you are facing again and again, and will likely have a good idea about how to help you. For instance, many specialize in areas such as depression, eating disorders, anxiety, and so on.

Meet with a few therapists to get a feel for their different styles and personalities. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find your perfect fit at first; it’s important to take the time to find someone who is a good match for your needs. Finding a good therapist comes down to a mixture of factors, such as ensuring that the professional has experience with treating your issue, finding out their unique therapy style, and going for an initial session.

If you find that you and the person get along well, and you feel better after your sessions, you may have found the right therapist for you.

#4. Keep an open mind

Know that there isn’t a set time for how long you may need therapy, or that there is a method that works the best for everyone. Realize that although you may think what the therapist asks of you won’t work, you should still give it a chance. You never know, you may be pleasantly surprised.

In other words, be willing to go along with what the therapist suggests, even if it is outside of your comfort zone. Doing so may help you finally experience the breakthrough you’ve wanted.

Some therapists like to assign “homework” or work you do between sessions to advance your skills or understanding. Try to complete these assignments and take them seriously to see personal growth.

How to Talk to A Therapist For The First Time

It can be really helpful to prepare for your first appointment ahead of time to help reduce anxiety and position yourself to get the most out of therapy from the start. By deciding to start therapy, you’ve taken a gigantic step toward better mental health. Acknowledge the strength required to take action like this, and be proud.

#1. Tell a friend or loved one

Talking about going to therapy is completely optional, but it can be really helpful to have a support system that you know will check in with you about your first session and subsequent visits. You’ll want to continue processing what you’re learning in sessions outside of the therapy office.

#2. Make a list of topics to cover

The first visit with any therapist can feel a bit awkward. After all, you are meeting with a stranger to discuss things you might feel uncomfortable talking about. Where do you even begin? Rest assured that a therapist is a trained professional who will help you feel comfortable and lead the first session. Still, arriving prepared with what you want to talk about during therapy can reduce anxiety. Read: HOW TO GET RID OF ANXIETY FOREVER: Anxiety Causes & 5 Sure Ways To Deal With It

Writing a list ahead of time of what you want to discuss during the first session (and bringing it with you) can help. Create a list of topics in your journal that you might want to discuss at your first session. Having it with you when you meet with your therapist can help keep you centered and focused.

#3. Manage your expectations

Your first counseling session will probably be a bit different from the following sessions. Your therapist doesn’t know much about you yet, so they will likely ask you many questions as they start to understand you and what you’re experiencing. Depending on the therapist and their approach to therapy, you might be asked questions about your childhood, education, job, relationships, thoughts, feelings, or actions. Your responses help your therapist understand you and know how best to help you.

How to Talk to A Therapist About Depression

We live in a busy world today. Everyone seems to be rushing about. When you do get someone to stop for a moment to listen, however, sometimes they don’t want to hear your concerns. That can be frustrating. On the other hand, when you visit a therapist, you’re talking with someone who wants to listen and is trained to understand your concerns. Still, opening up can be hard. Let’s go over a few ways to talk to a therapist about depression:

#1. Talk about life

It’s hard to find people to talk to these days. We’re so busy, and sometimes the people closest to us aren’t the ones we should be talking to. The worst is trying to talk to someone and having them not care. Why bother talking to anyone ever again after something like that?

Again, these are normal thoughts. They should be discussed. You can do that in a safe, caring, and comfortable environment when you visit a therapist

#2. Talk about your worries

A lot of times, it’s hard to figure out how depressed you are because you don’t want to talk about it. We know that women are much more talkative than men and are open to vent their frustrations. That’s a great way to get things off your chest.

If you don’t take this approach those frustrations can build and build, leading to greater problems down the road.

Talking about what is bothering you is one of the first steps in talking about your depression. Worries about money, relationships, work, and family can all build and fester to the point that you have full-blown depression.

That’s why discussing things like what ticks you off at work, the little things that bother you about your wife or girlfriend, and even your annoyance at paying that phone bill can all lead to higher-level conversations about your life path.

How to Talk to A Therapist About Anxiety

As with most mental health issues, anxiety is on the spectrum. For some people, it pops up during stressful times, or maybe it’s always lingering somewhere nearby but feels manageable. In that case, certain lifestyle choices can help quite a bit. To be clear, it’s always a good idea to get the help of a mental health professional for your anxiety if you think you need it.

#1. Give it time

This process may take several weeks or even months, but if the relationship is a good fit, it is possible that it will become easier to open up as time goes on. On the other hand, if you are in short-term therapy, or if there is a disconnect between you and your therapist, giving it more time may not make sense.

#2. Confess your anxiety

If you have given it time, and you believe that your therapist is a good fit for you, it may be time to confess how you are feeling. Whether you do this in writing, by email, or in person is entirely up to you.

Conclusion

Although opening up in therapy is never easy, the rewards of doing so can be great. Find a therapist that you trust, give it enough time, write things down when you feel the need, and try to be as honest as you can about your feelings. Doing so will make the most of your time in therapy.

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FAQs

What are the types of therapy?

  • Behavior therapy.
  • Cognitive therapy
  • Humanistic therapy
  • Integrative or holistic therapy
  • Psychoanalysis and psychodynamic therapies.

What is the difference between counselling and helping?

Counseling and helping activities differ from one another. Counseling is a managed activity only professional therapists carry out. Helping activities are not necessarily managed, and can be carried out by just anybody

What is the most common used therapy?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most frequent sort of therapy right now (CBT). This type of therapy investigates the relationship between a person’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. It frequently focuses on detecting negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones.

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