I recall many of my dreams, which are frequently bizarre, to say the least. Certain themes and locations reoccur in my nighttime adventures, but one of the most common and emotionally perplexing situations is when I dream about people from my past. So I turned to a dream expert for an answer to the all-too-common question: Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?
Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex?
Most of us have had a dream about an ex-partner at some point, but the meaning isn’t always clear. Dreaming about your ex may indicate that you are still not over them, but it could also be a sign of trauma, loneliness, or a conflict with yourself.
Here are six reasons why you keep dreaming about your ex:
#1. You are experiencing loneliness.
“It’s completely normal to feel lonely and fantasize about your ex,” says Jennifer Freed, a private practice psychotherapist. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you want to rekindle your relationship with your ex—you could be thinking of a time when you weren’t as lonely.
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“When we are feeling needy, we always long for connection, and we always go back to the last available memory of connection,” Freed says.
#2. Your ex was violent.
If your ex subjected you to physical or severe emotional abuse, you may continue to dream about it for months afterward. Post-traumatic nightmares are common in people who have experienced any type of trauma, says Deirdre Barrett, a Harvard University dream researcher.
These recurring nightmares are common post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms. PTSD dreams are frequently associated with extreme fear and physical symptoms such as sweating and racing heart.
#3. You are still not over them.
If you keep having dreams about good times with your ex, it could be a sign that you aren’t over him or her or that you haven’t moved on from the relationship.
There haven’t been many recent studies on ex-partner dreams, but one from the 1980s discovered that divorcees who were depressed about the divorce had recurring themes about their ex.
Barrett claims that people who have moved on from their ex “do not necessarily stop dreaming about them, but rather have a mix of themes.”
#4. You’re dissatisfied with your new relationship.
If you’re in an unhappy relationship, you might keep dreaming about your ex for several reasons:
- You desire the return of your ex. “If there has recently been a break-up, someone may be considering leaving the new partner for the old,” Barrett says.
- You don’t want your ex back, but there are aspects of your previous relationship that you miss, such as the way your ex communicated or displayed affection.
- Furthermore, you’re noticing negative patterns in your new relationship that are similar to patterns you had with your ex. For instance, both partners may be poor listeners or expect you to do all the planning.
Dreaming about your ex may indicate that you “need to have the courage to address the conflicts and problems with the current lover,” according to Freed.
#5. It is all about you.
Dreaming about your ex, according to Freed, can indicate that you have unfinished business with yourself. The dream version of your ex may represent a part of you, allowing you to reflect on your inner conflicts.
As an example, “Assume your ex was abusive and you continue to have dreams about them. What part of you is still mistreating and being unnecessarily cruel to yourself?” According to Freed.
“Each dream can be viewed as a portal to greater self-compassion and wholeness,” Freed says. Writing these dreams down in a journal or discussing them with a therapist may help you better understand them.
#6. You’ve finally gotten over them.
Positive dreams about your ex, such as dreams about fun times, may indicate that you’ve moved on from any lingering feelings for them. “You know you’ve matured and moved on when you can feel utterly grateful for what that person and relationship taught you,” says Freed.
Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex Spiritual Meaning
Dreaming about your ex has profound spiritual implications. Most of the time, it’s because the universe wants you to know:
#1. You and your ex have a strong spiritual bond.
Perhaps you are spiritually connected to your ex-partner. That may be why they keep appearing in your dreams. You have a strong connection with them if they are your twin flame, for example. After all, you mirror one another.
You even communicate through dreams, which is why dreaming about your ex is so common. Whatever the case may be, your dreams demonstrate that you and your ex have a profound spiritual affinity.
#2. They are constantly on your mind
I understand how difficult it is to let go of someone you’ve loved for a long time. However, even if it has been years since your break-up, they may resurface from time to time. Don’t be surprised if you keep dreaming about them if they’re constantly on your mind.
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And, if you can’t get them out of your head, you might continue dreaming about them for years after you’ve broken up!
#3. It is confirmed by a gifted advisor.
The signs in this article above and below will give you a good idea of your dreams. Even so, consulting with a gifted person and seeking advice from them can be extremely beneficial. They can also answer all kinds of related questions.
For example, why do I keep dreaming about my ex? What is the universe trying to tell me?
I recently spoke with a Psychic Source representative because, like you, I kept dreaming about my ex. Needless to say, I was perplexed. Fortunately, they provided me with a unique perspective on where my life was heading, including what my dreams meant.
In a love reading, a gifted advisor can tell you why you’re dreaming about your ex. But, most importantly, they can help you feel more empowered when making love decisions.
#4. Your ex is missing you
Your ex’s twin flame may be a stubborn person who refuses to express their feelings. The joke is now on them. Even if they don’t want to tell you how much they miss you, they may unintentionally communicate their inner feelings through your dreams.
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It’s a sure sign that your ex is thinking about you. They care so much about you that they manage to dominate your dreams! However, dreaming is not the only way twin flames communicate. When they’re around, you might feel bodily sensations or even strong emotions.
#5. The universe wishes for you to reunite.
Maybe you still love your ex, but you have no choice but to end your relationship. You can blame it on chance, circumstance, or even distance. In this case, the spiritual significance of your dreaming about them is obvious. The universe knows you’re supposed to be together.
They’re sending you these dreams to remind you that you still care about this person, even if you’ve broken up with them. And there is only one thing to do if you truly want to know how to get your ex back. That is, to reawaken their romantic interest in you!
Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex and I Getting Back Together?
If you have an ex-partner, chances are they have appeared uninvited in your dreams at some point. Dreams about an ex can be nostalgic and lighthearted at times, but they can also be so unexpected that you wake up in a tizzy of unwanted heartache and confusion.
We become close to people when we are in a relationship, so it stands to reason that these people would still have a significant place in our psyche after the breakup. But what does it mean if you fantasize about reuniting with an ex?
Let’s go deep into our subconscious symbolism, shall we? According to experts, here are a few of the most common explanations for why you dream about getting back together with an ex.
#1. You still harbor romantic feelings for your ex.
The most obvious reason for dreaming about an ex is that you still have feelings for them, which can be especially true if the breakup was recent. “If you dream of getting back together with a recent ex and you miss that person, it is a good indication you haven’t been able to move on,” says dream analyst and author Lauri Quinn Loewenberg to Bustle.
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“Remind yourself that the relationship ended for a reason and that this one may have fallen apart so that something better could fall together.” When you’re still in the brokenhearted stages of separation, it can be difficult to dream about the good times with an ex — but if breaking up was the right thing to do, a dream won’t change that.
#2. You’re still dealing with the breakup.
Dreaming about an ex could indicate that you still have feelings for them, but this is not always the case. It could simply mean that you’re still processing aspects of the relationship for which you haven’t found true closure. “Dreams of reuniting with an ex-lover do not necessarily imply that you still harbor feelings for that person or that you will ever be in a relationship with them,” Walden says. “Most of the time, these dreams represent unfinished business.”
Our sleeping minds give us a chance to reevaluate things from a more mature perspective, process unacknowledged feelings, or find closure on things that have been lingering in our subconscious by revisiting past relationships in our dreams. Sometimes just dreaming about the situation and reflecting on it in your waking life is enough to emotionally close the chapter with that ex, so take the time to talk about it and/or write it down.
#3. There are red flags in a current relationship
Dreaming about a bad ex or being back in a toxic relationship could be your subconscious alerting you to some red flags in your current situation. “If you fantasize about reuniting with a horrible or abusive ex, it may reflect an underlying fear that you are falling back into an unhealthy pattern with someone else,” Loewenberg says. “Ask yourself what is going on now that feels similar to what was going on then.” The dream could be about being subconsciously warned against a potentially negative dynamic in a new relationship or situation, rather than your ex.
How Do You Know If Your Ex is Thinking About You?
For the record, I am aware that there are more than seven signs that your ex is still thinking about you. However, I chose these seven because they are the most common that I am seeing and can be measured.
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In short, here are some things to keep an eye out for:
- They will respond to you on social media in some way.
- When they run into mutual friends, they inquire about you.
- They access any shared accounts.
- They completely alter their social media behavior.
- Always try to contact you at inconvenient times.
- They keep appearing in places you frequent.
- They keep some of your belongings after the breakup.
What Should You Do If You Keep Dreaming About Your Ex While In A Relationship?
If you wake up from a dream about an ex while your current partner is sleeping next to you, don’t worry; they can’t read your mind. Also, you haven’t done anything wrong, and dreaming about your ex doesn’t necessarily indicate that you’re unhappy in your current relationship.
Finally, your dreams are not a scripted version of your real life. Sure, you can analyze them to elicit meaning, but they’re not always what they appear to be. If you believe you have a problem in real life and your dreams are reinforcing that belief, talk to your partner or seek the help of a mental health professional or therapist.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why am I continuously dreaming about my ex?
“Dreaming about a long-ago ex, especially a first love, is extremely common,” Loewenberg says. “That ex becomes a symbol of passion, unrestrained desire, fearless love, and so on.” These dreams are your subconscious mind telling you that you need more spice in your life.
Is it true that if you dream about someone they miss you?
If you have a dream about someone you haven’t seen in a long time, it could be a sign that you miss them or have strong feelings for them. This does not necessarily imply that this person misses you or has feelings for you—it’s just as likely that they were on your mind when you went to bed.
Does dreaming about an ex mean they are thinking about me?
If you dream about your ex, it means they’re still in your life, whether or not they’re in a romantic relationship with you. It also implies that this person is on your mind because of an unresolved issue between the two of you. If you have dreams about your ex, it could mean that they are subconsciously thinking of you.
How can I stop dreaming about my ex?
There’s no way to guarantee that you’ll stop dreaming about your ex, but you can work through any issues that arise as a result of these dreams by talking to friends, loved ones, or a therapist. Perhaps the more closure you have, the less you will fantasize about them. It is critical to consider your objectives.