The question, “What are you looking for in a relationship partner?” may appear to be a simple question to answer. However, this is not usually the case. Either way, for the most part, intelligence, friendliness, sense of humor, attractiveness, and dependability are some of the most common qualities that spring to mind. No matter what we believe we want in a partner, the people we end up with don’t always meet our expectations. This is due to the fact that we don’t always want what we say we want. Well, that’s why this piece is in place to help you define and follow through with those qualities you desire.
Overview: What Are You Looking for In a Relationship?
Attraction laws aren’t always equitable. Although we may believe we are looking for a partner who complements us just in positive ways, we are often drawn to persons who complement us in bad ways as well in a relationship. This means that we are more likely to choose partners who share our emotional baggage. In our adult relationships, we are prone to replaying events and patterns that have harmed us in the past. We chose partners who fit into dangerous patterns because they are familiar to us, not because we enjoy them.
However, it’s important to break free from detrimental tendencies from our history while picking a life partner. Think about the people you’ve previously chosen to be with and why things didn’t work out. Were they being overbearing? Passive? Jealous? Elusive? Did they make you feel the same way they made you feel in the past? Is this a resemblance to a circumstance from your childhood?
While we can’t know for sure, all of our partner’s positive and negative features when we first meet them, there are some universal attributes you should seek in a relationship partner to ensure a happier outcome. Of course, no one is perfect, but the qualities below are some of the most important to seek out.
How to Respond to the Question, “What Are You Looking For in a Relationship?”
The following are basic qualities to help you decide when you are at crossroads regarding what you should be looking for in a relationship;
#1. Sense of Humor
Let’s face it: life is difficult. As a result, we must avoid as much as possible all of life’s toxicity and negativity. In any case, we can live without them. Choose someone with a good sense of humor if you’re dating. Choose someone who can laugh with you through the ups and downs of life.
After a long day at the workplace, find someone who can make you laugh. Look for someone who laughs at your jokes with sincerity. Simply said, pick someone with whom you like laughing, even when things go bad.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t pick a partner who isn’t serious about life. There’s a tremendous difference between someone with a decent sense of humor and someone who isn’t taking life seriously. Have you ever observed that people with a good sense of humor are also intelligent? They’re street smarts who know how to pull themselves out of a tight spot.
Remember that you want to be in a relationship to make your life better, not to make it worse. As a result, look for someone with a good sense of humor.
#2. A Good Listener
Find someone who thinks what you’re saying is essential. If a lady has an issue and a guy offers helpful suggestions, he is a good listener. He doesn’t just listen to her with his ear. He also utilizes his heart to ensure that he comprehends what she is saying.
The same may be said for guys who are looking for a good relationship. Pay attention to how a lady reacts to anything you say. If her comments don’t appear to apply to you, she’s probably not the right person for you. A woman who truly listens to a guy delivers responses that are tailored to his needs. This implies she takes into account the personality traits of the individual she’s speaking with, ensuring that her advice is reasonable and achievable for him.
Life isn’t always a bed of roses, as we all know. There will be instances when you feel as if things aren’t going the way you want them to. When things are tough, we all need someone to confide in. We don’t always require a rapid solution to our problems. Instead, we just need someone to listen to us without passing judgment.
When a guy or a lady asks what you’re searching for, a decent response is “being with a good listener.”
#3. An Individual in Good Health
Not everyone is fortunate enough to discover a health-conscious partner. This refers to someone who can motivate you to exercise every day and eat nutritious foods. Let’s face it, not everyone takes going to the gym seriously. Not to mention that a 1,000-calorie burger for dinner is difficult to pass up!
But, wouldn’t it be wonderful to be in the company of someone who motivates you to live a healthy lifestyle?
I don’t only mean physically healthy when I say healthy. There’s also this thing called emotional health, in case you forgot. There’s also what we refer to as mental health. So, whether you’re on Tinder or another dating app looking for the right match, look for someone who will help you take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health.
If I may add, finding a mate who does not physically mistreat or hurt you is also part of physical wellness.
Physical and mental abuse both mean that your partner dismisses you and treats you as if you are the most useless creature on the planet. Making you feel this way is only going to have a detrimental impact on your mental health.
If you’re in a relationship like this right now, get out of it as quickly as possible. It won’t help you at all. Find someone who deeply appreciates and cares about you
#4. Mutual Respect for Each Other’s Privacy
Isn’t it wonderful to be able to spend all of your time with your partner? Isn’t that something we all wish for? But it isn’t the case. There’s an old cliché that couples must grow independently before they can grow together. Simply said, being together all the time is unhealthy.
Don’t forget about other individuals around you, even if you’re already in a serious relationship. Spend time with your coworkers after work every now and then. Make time to go out with your friends over a cup of coffee. Spend some time alone if your schedule allows it.
You can also read a book on the beach, go to a weekly yoga class, or attend conferences and workshops. Alternatively, you could engage in any activity that will assist you to grow.
Allow your partner to do the same thing. You’ll be surprised how much information you can share with one another. Spending time apart allows you to replenish your spirit batteries and provide more to your relationship.
#5. A Life That Isn’t Pretentious
There’s a well-known rule that a man must put his best foot forward if he wants to attract a lady. Is it true that just because a rule is well-known, it is also effective? No, I don’t believe so.
It’s not you to always put your best foot forward. Instead, try to seem as natural as possible. Being a good person isn’t all that difficult or complicated. So, all you have to do is be a good person to your partner. But, because you’re only human, you’ll encounter events that make you angry or make you feel bad. This happens to everyone, and it’s fine for your partner to see how you’re doing when you’re not feeling good.
You don’t have to always put your best foot forward. You are not required to act in any way. Because if you do, you’ll get bored of pretending to be someone you’re not. You’ll get tired of it sooner or later. Worse, instead of presenting your best self, you will present the worst version of yourself.
So, if someone asks what you’re looking for in a relationship, a smart response is to state that you’re searching for someone with whom you can be yourself – no pretenses.
#6. Having a Partner Who Understands the Difference Between Arguing and Fighting
It’s been said that arguing once in a while is healthy in a relationship. Fighting may not be the best term because it has a bad connotation. When we mention fighting, we’re referring to physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. Arguing could be a more accurate term.
A healthy relationship requires a pair to put forth effort in learning how to resolve conflicts. Learn to listen to one another’s problems and work together to find answers.
Isn’t it interesting that we put forth the effort to listen to our coworkers but not our partners? We also take into account a variety of factors in order to provide appropriate solutions to each issue. However, we find it difficult to do the same for our partners. Keep in mind that your partner isn’t supposed to be your adversary. Your partner is the one who will be by your side until the very end.
#7. Consensus on a Relationship Style
Just because someone is kind and enjoyable to be around doesn’t imply you may immediately have a relationship with them. What if the way he approaches a relationship differs from how you approach yours? In that situation, you’ll always be at odds with one another.
Don’t be afraid to inquire about a person’s previous relationships if you’re dating them. Be forthright about it, just as you are about expressing your own story. Inquire about their relationships with their family, coworkers, and friends as well. Take note of how they speak about them. Examine whether their approach to caring for their loved ones is similar to yours.
#8. A Thoughtful Partner
Having a thoughtful partner is the same as having one who cares. If you’re dating someone, pay attention to how he discusses his family and friends. Does he occasionally call or text them to see how they’re doing? Does he keep an eye on you when you’re not together? Is he familiar with your favorite foods or restaurants? So, what’s your favorite color?
This isn’t only about a man’s thoughtfulness. Of course, a guy must examine a woman’s thoughtfulness as well. Having a considerate companion gives us peace of mind. It gives us reassurance that we are not alone.
So, if someone asks you what you want in a relationship on Tinder or another dating app, a good response is “being with a considerate partner.”
#9. Someone Who Understands How to Make Concessions
Our ability to handle disagreements is linked to our ability to compromise. This is because, as you can see, even if we discover someone who shares our personality, that doesn’t always imply that they share our mindset.
Conflict may emerge, for example, when a man’s approach to problem-solving differs from that of a woman. In that instance, both parties must learn to work together. Focus on your final goals if this is difficult for you. And if you both have the same end objective in mind, it won’t hurt to compromise and work together. At the end of the day, each of you will have accomplished your objectives.
#10. A Partner Who Encourages You to Be Your Best Self
Be in a relationship that encourages you to be your best. Just because you adore someone doesn’t mean you’re in a fantastic relationship with them. It could be a poisonous one, for all you know. You might end up being a conflict freak instead of having a partner who brings out the best in you.
Be with someone who constantly motivates you to grow as a person. Look for someone who isn’t self-centered and will let you explore. Find someone who will compliment you on your strengths rather than your flaws. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed. Of course, these pieces of advice are appropriate for both men and women.
While lying is typically frowned upon, it is unfortunately all too common in many relationships. Some couples believe they need to lie to survive, but studies show that lying less is associated with better relationships. When it comes to picking a soulmate, the ability to trust is crucial. Look for someone whose words match their deeds and who is honest about their feelings. It’s preferable to be with someone who will tell you what’s on their mind, even if it means exposing that they’re attracted to someone else, rather than keeping certain issues taboo or off-limits, which can create a sense of secrecy. Even though the truth hurts, it’s in your best interest to get to know your partner completely. You may feel insecure and distrustful of someone who hides aspects of oneself.
#12. Sensitive and Respectful
Respect is one of the most important qualities to look for in a partner. You can feel secure in your relationship while remaining independent inside yourself if you discover someone who encourages you to be yourself. When someone encourages you to do what lights you up and makes you happy, it’s easy to feel appreciated. When you’re indulging in self-destructive attitudes and habits, this same person may be willing to challenge you. This tuned-in method of connection is sensitive to and appreciative of who you are as a person apart from your partner. You may truly share life with someone who appreciates you and is interested in the things you are passionate about while continuing to explore your individual interests.
People often believe that a relationship is a way for two people to merge into one. Attempting to combine your identity with that of another person is not only unhealthy for you but also unhealthy for your relationship. Things tend to go wrong when couples fall into a routine and lose their independent attraction to each other. Real relating is replaced by a “fantasy bond” or appearance of connection. The intensity of a relationship is subdued by this sensation of oneness. You can keep romance and attraction alive by maintaining your individuality: enjoying separate interests alongside those shared with your partner, maintaining other friendships, and always trying new things.
You should look for a spouse that is empathic in addition to being a skilled communicator. It’s a rare discovery to meet someone that is prepared to listen and understand your problems. You can be more vulnerable and share more elements of yourself when you have a companion that tries to understand and feel what you’re going through. Compassion is one of the most important human characteristics, and you should look for a partner who can easily empathize with others.
#15. Physically Attractive
A lack of affection between a couple is one of the indications of a “fantasy bond.” Physical affection is a necessary component of life. It’s a way for people to stay in touch with the people they care about. Making love last entails keeping your relationship vital and intimate. It’s critical to find a mate that not only accepts but also gives love, affection, and acknowledgment. Your sexuality is an important part of your identity that should not be lost over time. Keeping your feelings alive entails verbal and physical expression.
What Are You Looking for In a Relationship FAQs
What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?
The following are 5 of the most important things you should be looking for in a relationship;
- Open Communication
- Listening and feeling heard
- Working through arguments
- Mutual Intimacy
What do you want from a relationship?
Love, intimacy, and romance
A loving relationship is built on these foundations. It’s not enough to be excellent housemates. The desire to be together as a partner must exist. Even if you believe the spark has died, there are far too many methods to revive it and establish what you are looking for in a relationship.
What are you looking for in a relationship best answer?
“What are you looking for in a relationship partner?” may appear to be a simple question to answer. Intelligence, friendliness, sense of humor, attractiveness, and dependability are some of the most common qualities that spring to mind.