It can be difficult to tell when you’re being taken for granted in a relationship, and other times it’s painfully evident.
In either case, you’re probably right if you think your partner doesn’t value you as much as they ought to.
Perhaps people have changed and you feel underappreciated now, or perhaps your pals are constantly pointing out the “warning signals.”
We are here to assist you in determining what is actually happening and what to do next.
How Can I Tell if Someone is Taking me for granted
They may have left jobs or DIY projects for you to complete and haven’t offered to take care of them yourself. They frequently assume that you simply enjoy doing these things because you’ve always done them.
Their attitude toward you could also include the feeling of being taken for granted. They might not always go out of their way to show you kindness, physical love, or sweet words. It may also manifest in the way they spend their time, failing to make time for you or consistently prioritizing time spent with loved ones or friends.
At their worst, they could act cruelly toward you on the outside. They may act disrespectfully and appear as though they believe they can treat you however they choose and that you would simply put up with it.
It’s quite upsetting to feel unloved or uncared for; over time, you may begin to feel unimportant and alone. You might doubt their commitment to the bond and yearn for the times when it seemed as though they genuinely cared.
How Did You Get to This Place
Simply put, it could be that your partner has forgotten to make an effort since they are accustomed to things being this way. This is a sin that we can all commit. In long-term relationships, it’s common to assume that if everything has been going well thus far, it will continue to be this way and you shouldn’t have to put forth any effort to make things work. It is easy to let your relationship lag behind other obligations, such as a job, raising children, or taking care of a family member. Even while it may seem like there is too much going on to prioritize your relationship, if you don’t give it a little bit of care, you may find that you are drifting apart.
However, there are situations when other issues are what’s really causing someone to feel ignored. You may stop recognizing the emotional state of the other person if you develop the habit of not sharing what’s happening in your life and how you feel about the relationship as a whole.
It’s possible that these behaviors have set in and exacerbated any existing problems in the relationship.
Signs That You’re Being Taken for Granted
#1. They Don’t Ask For Your Advice
Someone said that asking for guidance from those you love and respect is only normal. Someone who truly understands how important you are in their life will take care to consult with you before making any significant choices. Failure to do so indicates that somebody has started to disregard your influence and is therefore taking you and your viewpoint for granted.
#2. They Give Up Grooming
Sure, the honeymoon might be over, but that’s no justification to overlook the sexual aspect of your relationship. If your partner neglects personal hygiene but still demands sex, you are being taken for granted. Remind them that the phrase ’til death’ does not mean until you look like death.
#3. Only When They Need Something do They Text
If your spouse only texts you infrequently—especially when they need something—it’s a sign you’re being taken advantage of. While using this approach to communicate may be fine in less serious relationships, it is completely unsuitable in committed relationships. The messenger is expecting you to answer on their schedule rather than taking into consideration your own, making it more like a booty call.
#4. They Prioritize Their Work Over You
You are being taken for granted if your partner is more committed to their career than to your relationship with you. Although a relationship can’t always take precedence over professional obligations, they should at least make an effort to strike a balance between the two. It’s time to review the existing situation once you’ve “more resembled the side hustle,'” as the saying goes.
#5. They No Longer Keep Their Words
You’re being taken for granted if your partner consistently makes promises but never keeps them. The truth is that when interacting with someone they respect and value, people tend to follow their word. One can tell when someone no longer values them when they are willing to break their promises.
#6. They Ignore Courtesies
Even though a long-term relationship tends to encourage a more direct form of communication, there is no justification for treating the other person as nothing more than a tool—in this case, dinner—to achieve your goal. You both still qualify as full people deserving of some form of conversational pretense before getting down to business, even though you’ve each taken on certain responsibilities within the partnership and thus have obligations to live up to.
#7. They Strictly Limit Conversations
If a person takes advantage of you when you’re speaking to them and abruptly leaves the room or hangs up the phone. When someone sincerely cares about the other person’s feelings, they take care not to interrupt frequently and make the other feel unwelcome. They would at the very least give them a later call to wrap up the conversation.
#8. They Prioritize Their Friends Over You
For instance, a person is taking them for granted if they place their “bros” before them. Even though friends are vital, most people recognize that relationships frequently come first—at least while you’re in them. If your partner starts prioritizing their friends’ needs above yours, it likely suggests they think you will also stay put and won’t need as much care as you once did.
#9. They Don’t Want Intimacy Anymore
Relationships do experience dry patches, but if you feel like you have to beg for it, you are being taken for granted. It indicates that your lover thinks you would never leave them or cheat on them. And regardless of how genuine it is, it’s obvious they don’t value your needs if they act in that way.
#10. They Ignore What You Say
You are being taken advantage of if they stop listening when you disclose your deepest feelings. ” After all, one can only hear such deep ideas in a committed partnership. There is absolutely no justification for your lack of focus.
#11. They Haven’t Given You a Chance to Meet Their Family
If your spouse hasn’t yet introduced you to their family, they’re probably taking you for granted, arguing that it’s a clear indication that you’re “side entertainment and not the one.” If you were, their mother would beg for a meet-and-greet, which they would gladly provide.
#12. They Attempt to Profit from Your Free Time
If your partner knows your schedule and starts scheduling repairs, deliveries, appointments, etc. during your “spare time,’ there’s a good likelihood they’re taking you for granted. ” After all, spare time is a valuable and finite resource, and domestic chores ought to be shared equally by the two of you. Your partner has stopped giving your desires the respect they deserve if they start heaping everything on your schedule. If you need to liven up your household.
#13. They Are Promptly Late
If your partner is absent or arrives late for events that are significant to you, they are probably taking advantage of you. Even if nobody is always on time, people should make an attempt to attend, especially if it’s something they genuinely care about. If they develop a pattern of acting differently, they are valuing and prioritizing themselves over the relationship’s requirements.
#14. They Receive More Than They Give
If you give and give and give, and you receive, like, a sliver of love back, “you are probably being taken advantage of.” Even if you both express affection in various ways, because a relationship is a two-way street, the work involved should eventually equal out. You may know someone is “selfish and emotionally unavailable” and take your affection for granted if you provide while they receive it.
#15. They Don’t Express Appreciation
They are taking you for granted if they forget to say thank you for things they used to admire. ” A simple “thank you” can go a long way toward making altruistic gestures feel valuable, despite the fact that they may seem insignificant. Even if you’ve helped them several times, they should still express their gratitude openly. After all, you made an effort, so why can’t they? Here are some additional advantages of gratitude: Saying “Thanks” Will Boost Your Mood By 25%.
How to Stop Being Taking for Granted in a Relationship
Let’s not overlook the most apparent one: Talk to him before we get into this list of simple and original ways you can encourage your spouse to start paying attention again. Even if it’s not always simple, if you can truly sit down and express your worries, you might be able to find a solution without resorting to games. However, if you’re not quite ready to have the conversation, try these easy methods:
#1. Don’t Cancel Engagements to Spend Time With Them
Making it plain that you’re not at their beck and call is vital, even though you shouldn’t continuously leave yourself SO behind. Let them know you’re busy as a gentle reminder that your life doesn’t revolve around them if your spouse asks you out on short notice, when you’re not feeling well, or when you already have other plans. You can still play hard to get just because you’re in a relationship, so don’t let that stop you. When you decline their request for a date, it serves as a gentle reminder to your spouse that they don’t own you or your time if they expect you’re always available.
#2. Keep Your Own Interests in Mind
Having your own priorities shows that you are busy and independent, two traits that are likely to keep your spouse interested. These priorities can be anything from volunteering to taking classes to simply spending time with friends and family. Participate in activities that will draw attention to you, such as community theatre, singing lessons, learning an artistic medium, giving speeches, or organizing a large event. It’s a terrific self-confidence booster, and having your own interests and hobbies is essential for a happy marriage.
#3. Go on a Vacation With Your Friends
Spending excessive amounts of time together or neglecting your friendships can occasionally cause your lover to take you for granted. Reminding your significant other that your company is a privilege, not a right, can be accomplished by leaving them behind while you travel with friends. I suppose that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
#4. Put on your best clothes for you
We’re not saying to make your spouse envious outright, but making an effort to look good even when you don’t have a date with them will definitely get their attention. Making an effort to appear your best is a terrific way to remind yourself that you are deserving of all the love and affection you receive, in addition to serving as a reminder that there are many people who will find you beautiful.
#5. Spend Some Time on Yourself
Don’t make an effort to start a cuddle session if your partner is active in bed—playing video games, watching YouTube videos, etc. When you try to be sensual or fun with someone who simply just isn’t feeling it right now, nothing destroys your vibe faster. Take a long bath, finish the book you’ve been reading, or watch whatever TV show you want to catch up on. Sometimes the greatest approach to getting a careless partner to pay attention is to put your needs first.
#6. Let Them Make the First Move
Try to let your spouse initiate physical contact for a while if you have a tendency to do so. This also applies to other types of non-physical intimacy; if you’re the first to call, text, or apologize, hold off for a little bit.
#7. Recognize Your Worth
In the end, if none of these solutions work, the issue can be more serious than a communication issue or the typical ups and downs in a relationship. It could be time to break up with your relationship and pamper yourself if you feel that you aren’t receiving the attention or care that you deserve from them.
Letting Go of Someone who Takes You for Granted
What follows then? You must now learn how to play the victim and cease being taken advantage of by others around you. Although you can’t influence how people behave, you may improve the environment in an effort to promote a successful outcome.
#1. Intervene
We are not to blame for taking advantage of you. You give so much of yourself without receiving even a simple thank-you. Thus, speak up.
Say that you believed they didn’t appreciate it the last time you did anything when they asked you to. They ought to make it a point to thank you for the next time you do something.
#2. Be Careful Not to Take Them for Granted
Sometimes, we ignore how our partner is feeling in favor of how we feel. They might think you take them for granted or don’t care about them. Therefore, be sure to express your gratitude and thank them.
They might copy your actions after observing them.
#3. Consider Your Own Actions
Are you making an extra effort without being asked to? Do you respond to their requests with a quick “yes”? Do you request their assistance with tasks?
They could certainly express their gratitude more loudly, but you could also refuse them occasionally. We don’t like to imply that you give excessively, but you might be able to rein it in a bit.
#4. Say “Thank You”
If they still don’t understand it, tell them “you’re welcome” the next time you do something nice for them and they don’t say thank you. Say it out loud.
When you say this, it makes people realize that they haven’t expressed their gratitude in words, whether it be for preparing dinner, taking out the garbage, picking up their parents from the airport, or helping them pay for graduate school.
#5. Prioritize Your Needs
Sometimes it’s wonderful to put your spouse first, but don’t neglect taking care of yourself. Do what you need first if you want to learn how to quit being taken advantage of in a relationship. The next time they ask you to do something, postpone it.
After taking care of your immediate needs, move on.
#6. Just Refuse
You are not required to accept everything. We are aware that it can seem cruel or self-centered. However, you have the right to refuse; we are certain that they occasionally reject you.
You don’t have to go out of your way for them if you’re already overburdened with your own obligations. They might change their conduct if you start declining their requests.
#7. Set a Limit for The
Yes, there may be some tasks you feel quite comfortable performing, such as picking up your partner’s dry cleaning or walking their dog. However, we bet there are some tasks you despise performing. Compromise is necessary, but don’t go overboard.
Tell them what you can handle. Justify your refusal to attend the ballet or boxing contests by saying that you are pleased to have lunch with their mother or attend their workplace functions.
Am I Being Taken for Granted Quiz
Here is a little text to know if you’re being taken for granted.
#1. Do You Frequently Rush to Complete a Favour or Perform an Errand at the Last Minute?
a) Yes
b) Sporadically
c) When I have the time.
d) If it’s crucial
#2. Do You Find Yourself Having to Listen More Than Speak?
a) Usually
b) On occasion
c) No
#3. Do You Struggle to Refuse Requests?
a) Yes
b) Often
c) On occasion
d) No
Taken for Granted in a Relationship FAQs
What does it mean to be taken for granted in a relationship?
Being “taken for granted” has various definitions in the dictionary, including “failing to understand the value” and “treating someone in a careless or apathetic manner.” Each of these definitions stands alone, thus the existence of one does not compel the presence of the others.
What does it mean when your boyfriend takes you for granted?
Their attitude toward you could also include the feeling of being taken for granted. They might not always go out of their way to show you kindness, physical love, or sweet words. It may also manifest in the way they spend their time, failing to make time for you or consistently prioritizing time spent with loved ones or friends.
