I’ve always had the theory that romantic relationships have three core facets. The first is physical chemistry, which comprises sparks, sexual attraction, allure, and visceral appeal. The second is intellectual compatibility, meaning you find similar topics that are engaging, have shared interests, and have aligned senses of humor. But the third is perhaps the most important: emotional connection. Are there signs that tell you that you are bonding with someone? Why is finding that level of emotional security so difficult with the opposite sex? Learn the ins and outs of an emotional connection, the meaning of emotional connection, signs, and how to build a solid connection.
Meaning of Emotional Connection
An emotional connection is a feeling of alignment and intimacy between two people that goes beyond just physical connection, surface-level conversations, or intellectual similarities. Instead, it feels like you’re connecting on a deeper soul level and feel secure connecting that deeply.
It is sharing a common unspoken language with your significant other. It’s staying attuned to their needs and problems and following up when you know they’ve got a big interview coming up or just got into a squabble with their mom. It’s a synergy between two personalities that creates a balance between pushing the other toward growth and remaining a comfortable place to fall.
How important is it in a relationship?
Relationships cannot thrive without an emotional connection between the partners. An emotional connection is of the utmost importance in a relationship. Think of it as the anchor in the relationship that allows a partnership to weather any storm and sail seamlessly on calm waters. We are hardwired for connection, and as such, it makes us feel safe and secure, like we are seen, heard, and taken in.
Signs of Emotional Connection
This type of connection is the glue that holds your relationship together. It’s the X-factor that keeps your bond strong. It’s trust, understanding, and a core component of all types of love. But not every couple has it. Do you?
Here are the signs of emotional connection;
1. You are friends first.
No matter how far your relationship evolves, the foundation of the relationship is a strong friendship. You respect each other in a human way, value their thoughts. You want their input, and you enjoy their company. If all else was stripped away, and the romantic relationship never existed, you’d still want to know this person and call them a friend.
2. You care about each other’s needs and desires:
You know you have an emotional connection with someone when you care about their needs and they care about yours. When there is an emotional connection with someone, you want them to be happy. Therefore, an emotional connection to someone naturally results in you wanting them to get the things they want in life.
3. You talk every day and develop routines.
An important element is a consistency and reliability, which means your partner isn’t going off the grid for long spans of time or refusing to stay in touch during the day. You should be able to anticipate hearing from them. They should respond quickly to your contacts. You should talk regularly and see each other often. You should fall into a normal cadence of when to expect date nights or phone calls; often develop default plans and warn each other if something changes out of respect.
4. You develop rapport through inside jokes and shared experiences.
Emotional connection is all about developing a shared experience of the world. going on trips, working on projects, partaking in hobbies, finding common ground you can refer back to for years. There’s ease born of these experiences, and they make for the strongest foundation. The more history you have, the more likely you are to have a deep emotional connection.
5. When something major happens (good or bad), you want to tell them:
When you find out big news like you got a promotion or your grandmother is sick, who do you tell? If you wouldn’t tell you’re significant other first, I’d question the strength of that emotional bond. If you have a strong emotional connection to your partner, they are your automatic first call or text. You don’t even think twice. You know everything, moments after it happens.
6. You share openly.
When you have an emotional connection with someone, you feel comfortable sharing your values, beliefs, and dreams so you can support and champion one another.
Ask yourself these questions; Are you speaking freely? Are there things that you hold back from the conversation? If you feel nervous that you will scare them away by revealing too much; take note of that emotion and question why you’re hesitating to open up.
7. You know each other deeply.
You don’t just engage in the superficial aspects of someone’s personality. Take it a step further, giving someone access to the parts of yourself that you typically reserve for your loved ones. People searching for an emotional connection want depth and to sincerely know their partner, flaws and all.
After you share the embarrassing childhood memories, over time, the sharing gets deeper and deeper, leading to mutual trust, respect, and deep understanding.
8. You hold each other accountable.
You know when your partner is not living up to their standards and vice versa. If you have a solid emotional connection, you will be able to call each other out when they can do better. Whether it’s developing healthier habits, letting go of limiting beliefs, or refusing to make amends with a family member when they should have done so long ago. You know that if they bring something up, they mean it and you should listen.
9. You’re as happy with them every day as you are with the exciting days.
You can’t always be swept away on a romantic vacation. But when you have a strong emotional connection to your partner, it doesn’t matter. It’s not about constant chemistry, but rather a constant companionship. Couples that have strong emotional bonds regularly just want to cook together and watch Netflix, take a long walk in the park. The mundane is as important, and fulfilling, as the grander gestures.
10. You can predict how they’ll react or behave.
Partners with a strong emotional connection can predict their significant other’s behaviors and reactions because they have a sense of their patterns. What they like to do after work, how they act when they’re fudging the truth. This also helps when friends and family members try to plant seeds of doubt about the relationship, which happens to everyone. Understanding your partner, you likely have strong, accurate convictions about who they are positive and negative, good attributes and flaws because you know them too well.
11. You engage in non-intimate touching regularly.
In couples, all forms of touch are not created equal. Some touch is electric, sensual, full of chemistry, and ultimately meant to lead to sex. But partners with an emotional connection also engage in tons of non-intimate touch, like handholding, forehead or cheek kisses, hugs, and other sweet gestures. This type of touch is nourishing to the relationship in a non-sexual way, helping to maintain a connection to your partner. It’s a silent, significant way of saying, “I’m here with you,” not just “I want you.
12. You can be vulnerable with them.
Can you tell your partner about your biggest sexual hang-up? Can you break down in front of them without judgment, or let them in on the way anxiety affects your life? If you have an emotional connection with your partner, you can let your guard down without assuming they’ll believe you’re “too much” or broken. They meet vulnerability and intimacy with more of the same. Oh, and they let you in on their worries and baggage, too, because we all have some.
How to build a Solid Emotional Connection
If you want the healthiest relationship possible, learn how to establish a strong emotional connection with your partner. With this in place, all other areas will flow naturally.
Here are seven tips that can help you forge an unbreakable bond:
1. Study your partner.
Understand what your partner needs and wants from life and you. This means paying close attention when he talks. Look past the words and into his heart where he harbors secrets he wants to share.
2. Trust.
Develop a sense of trust with each other. This building block to an emotional connection will not come overnight. It takes time to develop secure feelings with another person. Let trust build naturally.
3. Emotional Availability.
Both of you must be emotionally available to the other. If you hold back in any way, you are not opening yourself up to the possibilities of a strong connection.
4. Show affection.
A couple in a budding relationship has a little problem showing affection. But married couples suffering from a fraying connection may need to work on being affectionate with each other. Kiss each other good morning and good night. Hold hands, hug and rekindle the fires of physical love.
5. Fight fair.
Amid heated battles, words and accusations fly, often hitting an unintended mark. Learn to fight fair. If you do not know-how, search for a book or counselor who can help you. When arguing do not bring up the past. Stay in the moment and use solid reasons for why you feel the way you do.
6. See the world through your partner’s eyes.
Try to see the world as he does to discover who he is. This means stepping back at times to envision why he behaves in certain ways. Observe how he reacts to situations and try to imagine being in his shoes. Expect him to do the same.
7. Overcome the obstacles.
Couples in faltering marriages often have pressing issues that need to be solved before an emotional connection can be established again. Define each problem together and then find solutions to alleviate or eliminate the obstacle. Once the biggest obstacles are conquered, you can begin rebuilding the lost emotional connection.
Emotional Connection vs Physical Connection
Here are 6 main differences between emotional and physical connection.
1. A physical connection is lust, while love is an emotional bond.
Love implies not only sex (as in the case with physical connection) but also the need for emotional intimacy with a person. When you love someone, you want to spend more time with them, and it’s not about sex but rather about heartfelt conversations.
2. Physical connection is impulsive, while emotional bonding takes time.
When you love a person, you are always ready to wait for them, and your feelings do not diminish over time. Physical connection requires instant pleasure. It is impulsive and impermanent. Emotional connection is a long-playing feeling that gets stronger with time, like expensive wine.
3. Physical connection is superficial, while emotional connection digs deeper.
Physical connection is associated with superficial factors, but not with the deep perception of a person. Lust is a state of mind that focuses on the human body, tactile temptations, and sex fantasies. The emotional connection is multifaceted and originates at a deep emotional level. When you are in love, you open up to a person, become vulnerable, and, at the same time, are full of confidence in your beloved one.
4. Physical connection is short and sudden, while emotional connection is slow and constant.
A sexual connection to a person can quickly run its course and burn down, especially if one has already had a desire. On the contrary, emotional connection can live in a person forever and a day in all circumstances.
5. Love becomes stronger with time, while lust decreases.
The love between a man and a woman is based on an emotional connection that strengthens over time. Physical connection is based on a strong sexual desire that eventually fades away. So, no matter how passionate your relationship may be, if it is based only on a physical connection, a breakup is inevitable.
6. Physical connection is only about “I,” while emotional connection is about “we.”
Physical connection is selfish and most often associated only with your desires. If you want to take possession of a person you love and do not give them plenty of rope, then you are just physically attracted. An emotional connection is not selfish. In other words, if you set someone’s happiness above your own, you love that person.
Mental Connection vs Emotional Connection
Our friends are the people with whom we have a mental connection. The strength of the mental bond would dictate the strength of the friendship.
When we share some common interests and are able to connect mentally, we may be normal friends.
They become our best friends when the connection becomes strong. We communicate without saying anything. We can easily read each other’s minds and become mentally aligned.
Our lovers are the ones we feel the strongest emotional connection to. They meet our emotional requirements.
They understand our love language and make us feel enthralled. The strength of our emotional connection indicates how close we might become as lovers.
It shows how much we might choose to be blind in order to strengthen our emotional bond. However, emotionally connected people should not always be able to connect mentally, resulting in a crush that lasts a limited amount of time and a lifetime of misery.
Friendship can develop into love, resulting in a mental and emotional bond. Friends with benefits are people who come together to meet the needs of each other with no strings attached.
When a mental connection is combined with a physical connection, this is known as synergy. Those who are mentally, emotionally, and physically aware of one another.
How Does a Man Act When He’s Falling in Love?
When men fall deeply in love, they may feel uneasy, nervous, or even scared. Laughing, avoiding eye contact, or fidgeting are ways to show this. Yes, you make them nervous, and when we are nervous, our brains tell us to laugh, and we do.
How Do You Emotionally Detach from Someone?
- Here are some ideas to get you started.
- Determine the cause. Ask yourself why you’ve decided to end the relationship now.
- Allow your emotions to flow.
- Don’t react; instead, respond.
- Begin small….
- Maintain a journal….
- Think about it.
- Be gentle with yourself.
- Look forward to it.
How Does a Man Show His Love?
It is often a man’s way of expressing love when he is open, giving, and affectionate with a woman on a regular basis. For him, love entails meeting his wife’s needs while also meeting his own. Other men use sexuality to avoid or cover up problematic areas in their relationships.
Conclusion
In conclusion, we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another.” One of the most precious relationships we have is with our partners, who humanly respect each other.
When that relationship is healthy and thriving, it is like a treasure, comparable to none. Awareness, communication, and intentionality are good places to begin if your relationship is lacking the emotional connection you yearn for.
If you feel you are having difficulty with any of these steps, it could be advantageous to have a psychologist or therapist guide you in the process.
Sometimes couples become so emotionally disconnected and stuck in negative patterns that it is difficult to have conversations about emotions.
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