How do you stop obsessive thoughts? Although most relationships go through ups and downs, those in a relationship with a partner who has relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD) may experience more dramatic and damaging ups and downs. Relationship OCD, as its name implies, is an illness that combines the intricacies of romantic relationships with the characteristics of classic obsessive-compulsive disorder. This means that a person suffering from the illness may exhibit patterns of switching between being overly attached to their relationship and pushing them away. They could swing back and forth between applauding their union and denouncing it as certain to fail or rife with issues.
A person with obsessive love disorder develops a strong attachment to the person they love. Rather than being a physical or mental health issue, this is a state. Relationship tension and improper boundaries can result from it, as can dominating conduct.
How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts About a Person
Even though controlling your ideas can be difficult, you can develop more effective responses on how to stop obsessive thoughts. Receiving treatment for OCD is one of the treatments that may aid you to stop obsessive thoughts.
Indication That Someone Has Obsessive Thought About You
Are you experiencing obsessive love or true love?
If you exhibit many of the following behaviors, you may not be experiencing true love. You might be facing a more serious problem.
Don’t be alarmed; it’s nothing you can’t handle with a little work. Find out if your feelings for your boyfriend, ex, or crush have developed into an obsession by reading on.
This is crucial since your thoughts and feelings are based more on pure imagination than a real relationship if you’re feeling this way about someone you don’t know or barely know.
#1. This Person will not Leave Your Mind
Let’s face it; all you truly want is to be with this person all the time and think about them constantly.
In fact, you’re contemplating them right now. Didn’t you just take a big breath and grin when their name, smile, and eyes suddenly sprang to mind?
You must cease thinking about them if doing so interferes with your ability to perform as well as you formerly did.
Are you certain that you spend the same amount of time in their head as they do in yours? If not, you must get rid of those ideas.
#2. You Imagine Yourself With Them in Your Dreams
If only they shared your feelings for them, you would go on the most wonderful date and get engaged. Before having two kids, a boy and a girl, you would shortly purchase a house and possibly obtain a dog. Alice and Mark would have your intelligence and wit in addition to their charm and excellent looks.
Stop right now if you’ve already begun thinking about names for your children or visualizing yourself at the altar with someone who might not even be aware of your existence.
Okay, so you haven’t gotten to the names of the children yet, but do you daydream about cuddling up to this person as if that’s the only thing that could make you happy?
#3. They are Being Idealized by You
Most likely, you’re elevating this individual to a position where they have no business being.
Are they perfect and the most amazing person in the world? Although you are aware of their imperfections, they are ideal to you and you would love them despite whatever flaws they may have. Or so you tell yourself, having spent countless hours speculating about this person’s true identity without much information.
Even though you have a thorough understanding of them, you have chosen to believe what you imagined them to be rather than who they really are. You’re euphoric from love. Don’t mix it with the pure love you deserve—actually, it’s infatuation!
#4. You Treat Them With Possessiveness
When you can’t see that person with anybody else, that’s one indication that you have obsessive feelings for them. You don’t want to see them with someone else in real life either. It’s not even necessary to be a potential match for them.
You’ll think they’re far more desirable than they actually are because they seem perfect to you, and you’ll think everyone else sees that and wants them too.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you and your partner ended up stuck on a remote island where you could spend your entire lives together? You should be conscious of the fact that it probably wouldn’t be good.
#5. You are Really Concerned About What They Think
The views of this person are really important to you and have a big impact on how you live.
You’ve never even purchased a stamp in your life, but you’ve recently developed a fascination for collecting them. Wearing white is something you’d rather avoid at all costs, yet suddenly you do it every day. It’s easy to figure out who in this group really enjoys wearing white t-shirts and collecting postage.
When you can’t be with the person you desire so deeply, you might be inclined to try to impersonate them, or at the very least, win their favor by enjoying their tastes.
#6. You Feel Compelled to Defend Them
Perhaps you try to make them dislike their friends or get them to stop visiting the locations they enjoy in the mistaken belief that you are protecting them. But are you aware of your true objectives? These are blatant indications that you have obsessive feelings for someone because you wish to isolate and control them.
Contrary to what you might believe, you don’t really care about their safety, thus you feel the need to protect them. You only care about wanting them all for yourself, which is bad for both of you.
#7. You Feel Envious Whenever You See Them With Another person
Your possessiveness will develop into irrational jealousy, as you already know. Anyone they talk to who is the opposing gender will make you envious. not just them, though. Anyone who speaks to them, regardless of gender or level of interest in this person, will make you envious.
After all, they are temporarily stealing them away from you. Because you want their time and attention so much for yourself, you are envious of what they give to others even when they aren’t willing to give it to you.
#8. You are Unable to Accept Their Denial
They may have stated explicitly that they are not interested in you, or their behaviors may have made it plain that they are. You can’t accept no as a response in either case. No matter what it takes, you’ll fight for them and win them over.
This would be romantic in another circumstance, but when the individual has made it quite apparent that they do not want you to pursue them, do not make them flee.
How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts about Ex
Most of us spend a major portion of our lives searching for a significant other. In an effort to select the one that will stay forever, we test out several relationships. Unfortunately, the expense of breakups results from this constant “trying on” of relationships. Breakups are difficult and hurtful, even if the fit wasn’t right. Having said that, we typically anticipate that a breakup will be painful for a few months before it is over. However, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes a year later you may still be sad, and when this happens you usually feel desperate to figure out how to stop obsessing over an ex. Or you might find yourself wondering what your ex is thinking about.
Fortunately, there are several actions you may take to assist you to stop obsessive thoughts in achieving this.
#1. Remove the Reminders
Get rid of everything that makes you think of your ex by packing it up. This applies to anything they purchased you, all of your collective photos (including those posted on social media), etc. If there are too many reminders of your former around, they may drive you to think about them or even make you feel like you hate your ex.
Some of these things might be simple to discard. Others, like books or clothing, can be given to a good cause. Some things, though, could be more difficult to let go of. Maybe you two are in a picture from your sister’s wedding. Consider storing such goods in a box in the garage or attic.
It will assist you to avoid concentrating on the past by keeping you focused on the present and your future if you get rid of or pack away reminders of your previous relationships. Until they are no longer visible, those old photos and mementos will probably keep bringing back a lot of terrible memories. It’s time to find ways to concentrate on your promising future now that your relationship is finished.
#2. Compile a List of all the Factors That Led to Your Breakup
Don’t exclude any of the factors in your list of reasons for breaking up. Why did the marriage not last? What exactly about them irked you? You are better off without them, so write down anything that comes to mind. Then, read it aloud to yourself. Additionally, maintain this list, and read it as frequently as you need to.
When we begin to miss someone we care about, it is possible for us to become so preoccupied with what we have lost that we fail to notice the initial problems in the relationship. Keep in mind that those problems still exist and that the individual is not exactly what we want them to be or even what they could be. Keeping things in perspective can help you avoid reentering a failed relationship. Instead, you may concentrate on the kind of relationship you truly deserve and want.
#3. Remove all of Their Contact Details
Remove their email from your contact list, delete their phone number, unfriend them on Facebook, unfollow them on Instagram, and unfollow them on Snapchat. In other words, block off all lines of contact. This step will prevent you from reaching out when you are tempted to do so—and you will be, we all do. Contacting your ex will put you back further than anything else, so stop it in its tracks by permanently blocking their access to you.
We all experience emotional periods following a split when we think it would be a good idea to get in touch with our ex. Yes, getting in touch with your ex could momentarily make you feel better, but it will only worsen matters. Another way to prevent your ex from reaching you is to cut off all lines of communication. Eliminating such connections will benefit both of you if your ex is having problems moving on or is giving you conflicting signals.
#4. Accept That You Won’t Forget Them
Learning to accept the split is a necessary step in moving on. You will likely not forget your ex even though you will cease hurting. That’s alright. Your ex is a part of your past, and your prior experiences influenced who you are today. Accepting this may make it easier for you to end the relationship.
Most individuals will only be in our life temporarily, but just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean it wasn’t worthwhile. Even if a romantic relationship doesn’t work out, it might still be beneficial to you. It might be quite simple to forget what you lost in a failed relationship that you also forget what you gained.
A fresh door has now been opened because the relationship is finished, allowing you to have happier relationships in the future. You now know more about your wants and requirements as well as about yourself. You might learn strength and resiliency from this experience that you didn’t realize you have.
#5. Look For Expert Assistance
Admitting you need help is sometimes the best course of action. Even after you’ve finished the aforementioned steps, you can still get the assistance you require by acknowledging your anguish and your inability to go on your own. Therefore, think about hiring a skilled or licensed professional to assist you in processing your emotions and directing you toward a successful breakup.
There is a grieving process when such a big connection ends. It might be difficult and unpleasant to let go of all the plans, aspirations, and objectives you had for the relationship. Some people might discover they need assistance to overcome their hurt and disappointment.
How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts in a Relationship
How to stop obsessive thoughts, ROCD can be managed and treated in the same ways as other types of OCD. There are actions you can take to assist control your symptoms and put your relationship (and anxiety) on the right track, even though counseling is typically required for at least a portion of treatment.
Take a few minutes to sit down and give your relationship or your partner some severe thought if you start to have second thoughts. Do you cherish your spouse? Do you enjoy your relationship’s current state? List or recollect five justifications. Continue with the following two stages if one of these questions has a negative response.
#2. Determine Unmet Needs
Relationship OCD can appear to cause issues out of nowhere, but you can still assess your concerns. Give yourself a time limit before going down the rabbit hole and seriously consider this to see if you can come up with a valid explanation if you have a recurring hunch that something is up with your relationship. In order to avoid overanalyzing these emotions and thoughts, make sure to give this exercise a specific time stamp. If all of your doubt is based on outward manifestations or trivial matters, ROCD is about to show its ugly head. If not, you could have a strong foundation from which to start.
#3. Discuss With Your Partner
Allowing your partner to know how you’re feeling may seem paradoxical. Discussing your disease with your partner might help them better understand your special requirements and some of the behaviors related to ROCD for which they may have previously held themselves responsible. This may be challenging at first. Your partner might be able to assist you to find clarity and a fresh viewpoint if there is something in your relationship that isn’t working.
Understanding the ROCD Symptoms
Relationship OCD is not rare, despite the fact that it could appear weird. As people with ROCD can be tormented by anxieties and suspicions that their relationship may not be the “perfect match” or that they could be with the wrong partner, this disorder may be (at least in part) to blame for the enduring notion of “cold feet.” They may then attempt to control their own feelings toward their partner in response to these undesirable, recurring thoughts, or they may look for validation from others regarding the status of their relationship.
People with ROCD may decide to get married in spite of their reservations, but later regret it and feel that they should have waited or started looking for a better match. Although the symptoms of ROCD may appear to be clear signs that a relationship is not going to work out, they are also a legitimate subgroup of OCD, and they can be extremely crippling. According to one study, “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Interference Symptoms and Maladaptive Beliefs,” people with ROCD had severe depressive symptoms as well as a significant decline in relationship functioning.
Because they can’t stop thinking about their difficulties, whether they are genuine or imagined, people with undiagnosed ROCD may internalize their symptoms and believe that something is wrong with them or that they are incapable of love, intimacy, or lasting romantic relationships. To keep the anxiety and compulsions that develop in relationships under control, these people may only be in short-term relationships, avoid getting married, and avoid having children. The absence of intimacy and connection over time may increase the symptoms of ROCD and potentially cause other disorders, such as depression.
You are not alone if you find yourself continuously comparing your partner to those around you despite the fact that you sincerely love them or if you experience doubt and confusion about a relationship in which you would normally be content. Many people have ROCD symptoms without understanding the underlying cause, and they can seek help to get better from this type of OCD that frequently damages close relationships.
How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts FAQs
Can relationship OCD be cured?
The good news is that ERP therapy is a highly effective treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorders, of which Relationship OCD is only one type. ERP is the most dependable method to drastically reduce the amount of distress brought on by OCD when carried out by a certified OCD therapist.
Why am I having intrusive thoughts about my relationship?
Connection OCD, also known as R-OCD, is a type of OCD in which a person has intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that are connected to their romantic relationship. The disorder can lead to recurrent thoughts about relationship worries or fears.
What causes obsessive behavior in relationships?
Obsessive love disorder is most frequently brought on by attachment issues. A person’s ability to develop strong bonds with others has an impact on the type of connections they have and how they interact with others.