How to figure out your deal breaker in a relationship

What is a Relationship Deal-Breaker?

Deal breakers are actions, principles, and/or traits that you genuinely disagree with in a possible long-term spouse. Deal breakers can help you avoid potentially unhealthy behaviors, imbalanced roles in relationships, or risky circumstances in your relationship. The first step in identifying any alterations to your beliefs and desired lifestyles is to talk about your dating deal breakers. If your tastes match, this will make you and your possible partner more compatible.

Immediate Deal Breakers in Relationships

I don’t really have time to court a man or stroke his ego. I cut my losses when I realize that we are not a good fit and go on. You should cease dating and stay in a relationship with someone who has made it clear they aren’t right for you. In addition to being a waste of time, it sends out the message that you are okay with your life continuing to revolve around the things you do not want.

Deal breakers are those factors that, in your opinion, rule out the possibility of a connection. They are crucial to understanding what you want from a partner and from a relationship.

Some people would even argue further. Here’s how to identify your deal-breakers and decide what would prevent you from continuing a relationship.

Determine and Specify What Relationship Happiness Looks Like

Finding out what is essential to your happiness in a relationship is the first step to figuring out your deal breakers. Financial security, emotional support, and spending quality time with my significant other are a few of mine. It goes without saying that a man who must travel to work on a regular basis is probably not the best match for me. Sometimes we have a lot of ideas racing through our minds, but we haven’t taken the time, to be frank about what we really want. Spend some time doing it.

What Does Your Ideal Life Look Like?

Draw a picture of your perfect life. Where would you like to reside? Do you intend to marry someone? Do you wish to have kids? Travel? There is only one correct response: the one that makes sense to you and works for you. You can narrow down the pool of potential companions by defining your ideal existence. You shouldn’t really waste your time expecting that someone will change their mind if you definitely want children and meet someone who is wonderful but completely does not want kids.

Make a List of Your Values and Consider How You Spend Your Time

Real insight into what is most important to you can be gained by considering your values and analyzing how you spend your time. Some of which must matter to your future partner. I like going out and meeting new people. Unless he’s a homebody who is okay coming out with accompanying me a sizable portion of the time, a homebody simply won’t work for me. Otherwise, pleading to go out instead of going out alone or not going out at all will grow old quickly.

Following the definition of these, you can make a list of qualities that your ideal mate should possess and a list of qualities that you would not tolerate in a partner.

Test Your Stipulations in a Fictitious Situation

Imagine finding your ideal partner. a person who is just on a living wish list. Just one thing, though. They (insert one of your deal breakers). Does the idea of it make them less attractive as a prospect? If such is the case, you have identified a deal-breaker. Remove it from your list if necessary. This isn’t really a deal breaker for you as long as they have everything else.

Relationships and dating are difficult. Some of us have to kiss a lot of toads before we ultimately discover a good match. Identifying and adhering to your deal breakers will help you speed up this process and save time.

Do You Have Any Relationship Snubs?

When determining whether to proceed with something or not, one should take a deal breaker into account. Even if you truly love someone or have been together for a very long time, there is always that tiny bit that makes you say, “I’m done!”

No relationship is flawless, after all, so maintaining a list of relationship deal breakers is a smart approach to shield yourself from harmful situations. However, it may sound harsh.

Avoid getting entangled in relationships that are abusive, controlling, or even harmful. You should carefully analyze these relationship deal-breakers while determining whether your sweetheart is worth your time.

Examples of Deal Breakers in a Relationship

#1. Your Partner is Unreliable

Immediately put your foot down when it comes to cheating. Don’t let your heart heal as you wait for further heartache. Both sides should respect each other’s decision to remain in a monogamous relationship if you both consent to it.

Even if you set aside betraying your trust and destroying your heart, your partner’s infidelity puts you in danger of depression, STDs, and serious embarrassment.

#2. They Fight Unclean

There are moments when we’ve all said foolish things during heated arguments, but there is a difference between being caught up in the moment and using the conflict as a justification to become really rude.

In the event that your spouse or companion:

  • Brings up previous incidents with the purpose to provoke you
  • Addresses you crudely or disparagingly
  • Uses gaslighting to make you feel insane
  • Attacks you rather than the problem
  • Employed the silent approach
  • Then you should think about leaving.

Open communication and just conflict resolution are key components of healthy relationships, not competing to cause the other person the most harm.

#3. You’re Not Satisfied With the Relationship

Do you enjoy being with your partner or do you experience tension just thinking about spending time together?

When you consider your connection, do you have anxiety?

Do you ever doubt your worth because of your partner?

If so, you are undoubtedly shouting inside that “This relationship isn’t right!” When considering whether or not to stay with someone, there is undoubtedly something to be said about gut instinct.

There probably is something wrong with your relationship if anything feels strange to you.

#4. You’re Seeking Several Things

Even if you truly love each other, relationships don’t always work out as planned.

You desire the West, he wants the East Coast.

Always want to spend, and she wants to save money.

You can ride as a pair if you like; he wants kids.

Even if you get along well, if you don’t address these basic disparities in your goals and how you see your life developing soon, they will lead to major resentment issues.

#5. They Are Extremely Selfish

Everyone has moments of selfishness, but some people go too far.

It could be time to reassess your marriage if you feel as though you are giving your all to your spouse yet all they do is take, concentrate on themselves, and profit from your kindness.

Spend no more time with a self-centered narcissist. The headache won’t be worth it, I assure you.

#6. They’re Constantly Jealous

When it motivates partners to treat one another better and not take one another for granted, healthy jealousy is absolutely cool.

However, domineering jealousy that demands your phone password and hacks your Facebook can never be accepted. This is a manifestation of insecurity that can easily turn into harmful or aggressive conduct. It is preferable to leave before it gets to that stage.

#7. You Do Not Share the Same Values

Even if it’s true that opposites do attract, that doesn’t always imply they make the best companions.

If you and your spouse have strongly held political or religious convictions that enrage or distress you, it may be a sign that your relationship wasn’t meant to be.

Be aware that it will take a lot of effort to figure out how you talk about and handle those issues if you choose to date someone who has different beliefs than your own. It’s time to leave if you simply lack the patience or willingness to do so.

#8. You Fight All the Time

Do you believe that you and your partner are constantly at odds?

Yes, even happy couples fight occasionally, but fighting all the time is one of our relationship’s red flags since it indicates weak communication skills.

For a relationship to be successful and joyful, communication is crucial. To develop empathy, address issues, and strengthen their relationship, couples must be able to communicate with one another. This entails dealing with issues as they come up rather than allowing them to fester and escalate into major conflicts later on.


Spending time with someone who isn’t worth your time would be a waste of your limited life. It’s time to end the relationship if your partner is obnoxious, dominating, or won’t seem to give you the time of day. Although choosing this person is obviously difficult, your future self will appreciate it when they have met someone better for them.

How to Figure Out Your Deal Breakers in a Relationship FAQs

What is the biggest deal breaker in a potential partner?

Listed below are a few deal breakers

  • Your partner is not interested in the same things that you are.
  • Your partner is abusing you
  • You two are constantly at odds with one another.
  • You Don’t Trust Your Partner, 
  • You’re not truly who you are.
  • You are not valued.b

What is red flag in relationship?

Red flags in relationships are warning indicators that the couple won’t be able to maintain a healthy bond and that continuing their relationship would be emotionally risky.

How do you know if a relationship is over?

You are no longer open and vulnerable with your lover, which is one of the telltale symptoms that your relationship is coming to an end. Both parties must be fully open to sharing their thoughts and opinions with one another in order for a relationship to be happy and healthy.

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