Low self-esteem

Why is it that women experience more low self-esteem issues than men? What leads to low self-esteem in a woman, and how can one overcome this? The answers to these questions are specifically in this article.

Self-esteem is a basic attribute in all humans. It is the worth, belief, and value we place on ourselves. It is the way we think and perceive ourselves. Therefore, if one regards herself so poorly, she will experience low self-esteem.

Scientifically proven, women suffer more from low self-esteem because of brain chemistry and hormone differences. However, this condition is caused by numerous reasons or experiences, such as self-doubt, stigmatization, people-pleasing, negative thinking, racism, being bullied, problems in relationships, physical health problems, ongoing stress, childhood experiences, unresolved trauma, and other circumstances life throws at you.


What causes lower self-esteem in some people? Several factors could be in play, including:

  • Brooding or being preoccupied with dark or sad memories or thoughts.
  • Engaging in negative Self-talk or criticism
  • Having a mental health disorder
  • Low levels of resilience.
  • maladaptive coping skills
  • Rumination, or obsessively thinking about one thing.

Some studies tie excessive social media use with low self-esteem in adolescents. Others, however, point out that social media use, in general, does not always have this effect. Instead, it is more about the reason for which it is used.

Social media, in particular, can have a negative effect if used to assess your popularity or likeability. However, the effect can be more positive if you use social media to share your interests with like-minded people.

Physical health and appearance are also variables that contribute to low self-esteem. For example, one study discovered that having missing teeth or untreated dental decay lowers self-esteem.


1. Hypersensitivity to criticism:

A woman who is overly sensitive to criticism is a trait of low self-esteem. She sees it as a confirmation of her negative thoughts, her not being good at anything, and her inability to do anything right. She is quick to react to anyone who criticizes her and her sense of judgment because she is scared to be perceived as a weakling. Nevertheless, criticism is meant to be a form of self-improvement, but people tend to react negatively and personally to it.

2. Social distancing:

Dreading social activities? Not wanting to hang out with the ladies? Not wanting to discuss with people because it will reignite the depression and uncertainty you have in yourself. These are traits of low self-esteem. Associating with people makes her feel anxious; she constantly worries about what to say, what to wear, and how to fit in with the crowd and not be odd.

3. Low confidence:

Low self-esteem leads to low confidence in a woman. That is to say, they both form a symbiosis; one thrives on the other. The lesser the self-esteem, the lesser the self-confidence, and vice versa. She begins to question her abilities and capabilities. She needs people’s validation to regain her confidence; in other words, the absence of people’s validation throws her off balance.

4. Getting hostile:

Getting more defensive and lashing out aggressively toward others is a sign of low self-esteem. Attacking anyone who tries to criticize you. You feel the need to be overprotective of yourself to prevent others from seeing your inadequacies and shortcomings. To this end, any criticism is seen as a personal attack, so she tends to develop hostility as a defensive mechanism.

5. A follower’s attitude:

A sign of low self-esteem is following others’ choices. The woman is always indecisive and unconfident because she believes her choice is insufficient. She will shop based on other people’s choices. She mimics others rather than being her authentic self. Therefore, she believes her decision is not worth it and needs validation from someone else.

6. Difficulty speaking up:

You find it hard to speak up because you feel your voice does not matter; therefore, it should not be heard. Even when people do things you do not like, you find it difficult to make your intentions known because you do not want to be criticized or judged. You constantly place others’ wants and needs over yours, even at the cost of your wants and needs.

7. Self-sabotage:

Constantly believing and behaving in ways that confirm negative thoughts about oneself, these births self-sabotage. You get scared when everything is seemingly going well, and you get worried when you succeed without any failure as a result of low self-esteem. In other words, you feel you don’t deserve to succeed because you have told yourself that. Or sometimes because of childhood experiences and past relationships.

8. Comparison:

You are always comparing yourself with women on social media or with women around you, and you keep judging yourself. You feel you are not good enough for yourself; you are not good enough for anyone. This sign is unhealthy and hinders a woman from reaching her full potential.

9. Feelings of anxiety and depression:

Low self-esteem affects mental health. ` If I am not good enough as a woman, what is the point of me being alive?’ This negative thought comes to a woman suffering from low self-esteem. She feels it is better when she is left alone, when she is not among peers or at social gatherings. She is always anxious when spoken to or called out for a reason. This begins to affect her mentally, and if she gives in to the thoughts, it leads to depression.

10. You experience self-doubt:

Every decision you make, you second-guess. Second-guessing is natural to humans, but when it becomes an unhealthy habit. It becomes a problem. The only validation you need to reassure yourself you are doing the right thing is from others. You are not confident in your judgment and constantly seek opinions from others. This is another sign.


1. Identify the root cause:

Low self-esteem is generated from a cause, and identifying the cause is one step toward regaining healthy self-esteem. You need to self-reflect, become more self-aware of things that make you lack confidence, and internalize negative thinking. Understanding the cause gives you a chance to overcome it.

2. Constant Journaling:

Write down things you are genuinely grateful for, write your thoughts down in a journal, appreciate yourself more, and always read words of affirmation to yourself. Above all, this keeps you healthy and in check with yourself. You start to believe in yourself, and your self-esteem is elevated.

3. Be kind to yourself:

You treat people more nicely than you treat yourself; you say kinder things to everyone but yourself, so why not extend the gesture to yourself as well? You don’t need to shame or condemn yourself constantly. Instead of doing that, accept yourself and work on the aspects you do not like about yourself to yield a positive change.

4. Practice self-love:

Self-love is accepting yourself fully, forgiving yourself more, and nurturing your growth, thoughts, and well-being. Practicing self-love helps you see yourself more in a positive light. You have an overall positive perspective about yourself. You become gentler with yourself.

5. Build positive relationships:

Try to build more healthy and positive relationships with people who encourage and appreciate every bit of you as a person. This gives you a sense of peace and reassurance that you are not alone.  When you notice certain people judge you or tend to bring you down, do let them know. However, you should spend less time with them.

6. Stop comparison:

Comparison is a joy killer and makes you feel less good about yourself. Appreciate and accept yourself. Improve yourself when needed. Realize what you are good at and what you are not good at. Although, comparison can be good if you do it positively. Start looking at things, people, and yourself in a positive light.

7. Give yourself a challenge:

People with healthy self-esteem also feel nervous and anxious when trying out new things, but this does not stop them from trying them out. Always set new goals for yourself; for example, attend that social gathering, start each day with words of affirmation, and apply for that new job. Achieving your goals will help boost your level of self-esteem.

8. Start saying ‘no’:

Stop the habit of people-pleasing. When people ask for things that do not sit well with you, always make your intentions known to them rather than ignoring your wants and needs just to please them. Saying ‘no’ does not make you weak or make you less of the person you are. Above all, learn to put yourself first before any other person.

9. See a therapist:

“Sharing our experiences can allow us to see that we are not alone and to gain a different insight as to how people see and feel about us.” Dr. Scarlet. Seeing a therapist can help overcome low self-esteem. A therapist will help you see yourself positively and think positively. You begin to gain more exposure and learn more about how to accept yourself wholesomely.

10. Be aware of your emotions:

Recognizing your emotions teaches you how to respond and react to them. The next time you are feeling doubtful about yourself, recognize your feelings and positively respond to them rather than letting them consume you.

Impact of Low Self-Esteem

According to research, low self-esteem has a wide range of effects. For example, low self-esteem is associated with a number of mental health conditions, including:

Low self-esteem may potentially contribute to the development of certain mental health conditions, such as depression. Research has also shown that those with this issue are more prone to consider suicide.

Another result of low self-esteem is that one may struggle to achieve goals and build healthy, supportive relationships. It may also increase one’s sensitivity to criticism or rejection.

Someone with high self-esteem is more likely to be able to ignore negative comments, whereas someone with low self-value may take it more personally. When confronted with problems or hurdles, those with low self-esteem are more prone to give up.

According to research, people with low self-esteem often engage in actions aimed at maintaining their limited self-worth. Acting sad or sulking is done to gain the support of others.

Unfortunately, these behaviors often backfire. Instead of receiving the support and encouragement they seek to increase their self-esteem, the individual often generates negative reactions from others.

Some Frequently Asked Questions Are:

What Are the Common Characteristics of Women with Low Self-Esteem?

Common characteristics of women with low self-esteem are self-doubt, depression, negative thoughts, social withdrawal, and lack of confidence.

Does Low Self-Esteem in a Woman Affect Her Relationship?

Yes, it does. A woman with low self-esteem finds it difficult to maintain a positive relationship with men.

How Do I Overcome?

Low self-esteem can be overcome in different ways. For example, seeing a therapist, surrounding yourself with positive people, letting go of the past, and so on.

Can Self-Esteem Be Regained?

Yes, self-esteem can be regained by keeping a positive mindset and reminding yourself of your worth.

Do Women Experience Low Self-Esteem than Men?

Yes, women do experience low self-esteem than men.


In conclusion, overcoming low self-esteem can be achieved by mindfulness. So, you need to be mindful of the things and people you let into your space. Low self-esteem is caused by past experiences and for you to overcome it, you need to identify the root cause!

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